The Secret
by GladiatorInHeels
Summary: AU. Olivia is a young student traveling to Washington D.C. for a summer internship with a prestigious law firm. The man she meets along the way will change her life in ways she could have never imagined.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my second multi-chapter Scandal story. It is definitely different from the last one, and my first shot at an AU story. I hope you enjoy it, and I would truly appreciate reviews and constructive criticism. **

Disclaimer: I do not own Scandal.

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She felt sick to her stomach but couldn't quite decide if it was from nervous excitement or just fear. Maybe, she concluded, it was a little bit of both. Olivia Pope stepped off the train and out into the warm D.C. sunshine. The train station was busy on a Saturday afternoon, and she assumed most of the people were weekend tourists visiting the city. She was pulling a large suitcase and a smaller carry-on bag behind her in addition to the oversized bag she had slung over her shoulder. The sun was suddenly in her eyes and she squinted, trying to spot a cab she could jump into. The address of the apartment she would be living in was tucked into the back pocket of her jeans, but she knew she could recite it from memory. Finally, Olivia found a cab and allowed the driver to load her luggage into the trunk. He gave a quick nod when she told him where she needed to go and took off into the busy D.C. afternoon traffic.

Olivia relaxed slightly, watching the famous sights of the city fly by. She had never actually been to the nation's capital, but she could name every monument, statue, and building they passed. For years, her parents had promised her that they would take her to the famous city one day, but deep down Olivia had always known that it would never happen. So she had studied the sights in books she had taken home from the library and on posters she'd seen in stores. When she had begun her education at a prestigious university on a full scholarship, Olivia had become even more focused on her goal of making it to Washington D.C. Now she was finally here, and she didn't think she'd ever seen anything more overwhelming and stunning than this. Her thoughts were interrupted when the driver pulled up to a building and gestured for her to get out of the cab.

Standing in front of her apartment building, Olivia smiled. She had hoped it would look like this – old but attractive, and exactly like she'd always pictured D.C. When she finally reached the right apartment, Olivia inserted the key that had been mailed to her a few weeks ago. She pushed the door open and pulled her luggage into her new temporary home. It was a small apartment by normal standards, but much bigger than the dorm room she was used to. The furniture and décor were modern and very stylish. The living area connected to an open kitchen that she hoped to use soon. Off to the left right was her bedroom and the bathroom. There was a small walk-in closet that put an instant smile on Olivia's face, because she was a girl after all. She knew it was completely out of character, but Olivia squealed. This was her home for the next three months and she was completely in love with it.

At age 22, Olivia was beginning to make a name for herself. Born into a middle class family, she had to work hard to achieve her goals. Excellent grades and her involvement in community services and after school projects had resulted in a full scholarship to the university of her dreams, and she was now working tirelessly towards a law degree. After sending countless letters to high-profile law firms all across the nation to find one that would sponsor her summer internship, Olivia had eventually received six acceptance letters. She had decided to intern for Meyer & Associates based on their impressive client list and the fact that they were based in Washington D.C. So here she was, nearly bouncing in the apartment they provided to their summer interns, unable to control how excited she was to have been given this opportunity.

Always prepared, Olivia had read everything she was able to find on their successes, their clients, and the lawyers that worked for one of Washington's top law firms. She knew that George Meyer himself had retired from the business a few years ago, but continued to pull strings behind the scenes like any other influential man in this city. The law firm was his pride and joy, now run by a group of associates that included his nephew. Olivia didn't know how much – if at all – she would actually be able to interact with the important people. She was young, but not naïve, and she knew that she would most likely by working for one of their younger lawyers, rather than an influential partner. She didn't mind, because Olivia knew that every new opportunity was just one more step on the long latter to success. Hard work had gotten her this far, and she was not afraid to continue on this path until she got to where she wanted to be in her life.

According to the information material she had received from Meyer & Associates, their office was only fifteen minutes from the apartment, and although she did not start her internship until Monday morning, Olivia decided to take a walk and sneak a peek now. She checked her watch, making sure she would have enough time to get there and back before it would get dark. There were plenty of distractions on her way to the office building, but Olivia forced herself to save the sightseeing for the next day. She found the office easily, because she was a city girl that knew how to find her way around busy streets. For a moment she debated whether she should go in and take a closer look, or simply stay out here and be surprised when she returned for her first day at work on Monday. Straightening her blouse, Olivia stepped through the massive glass doors, because curiosity had simply gotten the better of her. Meyer & Associates shared the building with two additional law firms, but Olivia knew they were the by far the biggest firm out of the three. The lobby was a pompous mixture of modern furniture and classic architecture, and Olivia smirked at how much it screamed 'rich clients'. She was impressed, but had not expected anything less. A pretty blond front desk clerk greeted her with a smile that Olivia returned quickly. She had read that Meyer & Associates inhabited the entire third floor, but she wasn't planning on going up there today.

One of her professors had once told the class that it was important to appear enthusiastic and prepared, but never over-excited. She would save her first trip to the actual office for Monday morning, when she was dressed more professionally. Olivia let her eyes drift across the lobby one more time, then turned to leave. Almost immediately, she collided with a solid body. Her purse dropped off her shoulder in the process, and Olivia groaned inwardly.

"I am so sorry.", she apologized, her eyes landing on the suit-clad chest in front of her.

She lifted her head to meet the stranger's eyes. First, Olivia noticed that he was tall. Then, she realized that he was quite handsome. He was smiling at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. They were an absolutely striking color of blue-grey, but they looked distant, sad almost. Bringing herself out of her trance, Olivia smiled up at the man apologetically. She knew her own smile very rarely reached her own eyes either, but she had trained herself to make sure people would never notice that. Seconds passed before she realized that her hand was still firmly planted against his chest, and she quickly dropped it. He was holding a large go-cup of coffee, and Olivia gave him a quick once-over to make sure she hadn't spilled any of it on his expensive suit.

"No harm done.", he assured her, his voice deep and smooth.

Olivia watched him bent down in front of her to pick up the purse she had dropped. She wanted to stop him and do it herself, but she had a feeling that he was the kind of man who wouldn't allow that. He seemed to be a gentleman. When he handed her the black leather bag, Olivia took it wordlessly but thanked him with another smile. Their fingers touched only briefly, but she noticed how cold his felt against her own.

"Make sure you don't get yourself hurt.", he teased, before winking at the young woman that was staring up at him with the biggest, most expressive eyes he'd ever seen.

She blushed prettily and he found himself smiling again. He gathered himself and stepped away from her, before walking through the glass doors and into the open. It was warm and sunny and he was glad to be out of the office for the day, even if he had come in voluntarily that morning, despite it being a Saturday. Before he crossed the street to find his parked car, he turned and looked back into the lobby of the office building. The woman that had just run into him face first was still standing where he had left her, staring straight ahead and right at him. He wondered if her gaze had followed him all along. Their eyes met through the shiny glass of the door, and he watched in amazement as a storm of emotions played in hers. Shaking his head quickly, he finally turned and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

**The feedback for the first chapter is amazing and I am so overwhelmed and happy to see that people are interested in reading this story. I hope I don't disappoint. Keep the reviews coming please!**

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On Monday morning Olivia was ready to go by seven, even though she did not have to be at the office until nine. She had showered, dressed and then re-dressed, and although she wasn't hungry at all, she had even eaten a small bowl of cereal. For the third time since she had arrived in D.C., Olivia read the brochure for Meyer & Associates – just to be sure she'd know the answers if someone were to question her later. She left the apartment earlier than she really needed to, and arrived at the law firm twenty minutes early. Olivia took the elevator up to the third floor, taking a deep breath. The confined space still made her feel queasy, but she had learned to deal with that. A small 'ding' announced her arrival at Meyer & Associates and she stepped out into the firm's lobby. The small sign on the front desk read 'Laura Smith' and Olivia recognized the name as the one of the woman she had spoken to when she'd first received the acceptance letter for her internship.

"Mrs. Smith?", Olivia smiled, approaching the middle-aged woman with a smile. "My name is Olivia Pope and I am supposed to start my internship here today."

"Oh, Miss Pope! We're expecting you.", the desk clerk replied, and Olivia relaxed a little bit at the friendly, nearly enthusiastic voice that greeted her. "Come on, I'll take you to where you need to be."

She pointed out the restrooms, the small kitchen and lunchroom area, and the offices of some of the partners. Olivia mentally filed the information away for later, grateful that her good memory would assure that she wouldn't have to ask these things again later. Finally, they reached their destination. Olivia read the name on the office door and remembered seeing it on the list of approximately ten lawyers mentioned in their brochure.

"This is Fitzgerald Grant's office.", Mrs. Smith explained. "Although you will probably be working with several lawyers here, you were assigned to be his intern first and foremost. He's not here yet, but he usually arrives right at nine o'clock, so why don't you take a seat and wait for him here?"

Olivia nodded and thanked Mrs. Smith before watching her leave. She took a seat like she had been advised to do and took a good look at the office. It looked exactly the way she would have imagined a D.C. lawyer's office. It was modern, minimalistic, and very organized. Files and books formed neat rows on the several bookshelves that filled the room, and Olivia noticed immediately that everything seemed to be in perfect alphabetical order. She smirked, because it was exactly how she liked to organize all of her things. She recognized some of the reading material from her own law books that she kept in her dorm. The desk in front of her was massive, and although it looked neat, it wasn't quite as organized as the rest of the office. Olivia let her eyes travel over the expanse of the expensive wood, but couldn't find anything personal that would give her a clue about the man she was about to meet. There were no pictures of family, no drawings from a child, and no knickknacks that would give her any idea what Fitzgerald Grant was like.

"You must be Olivia Pope."

For a split second, Olivia thought that it couldn't be true. She didn't turn around immediately, but the smooth voice did not leave a doubt in her mind that she had already met Fitzgerald Grant. Finally, she stood and turned to face him. Realization hit him the second his eyes met hers. He was shocked to say the least, but smiled anyway.

"We ran into each other before.", he joked and Olivia wanted to smack herself for that faux pas. "My name's Fitzgerald Grant. It's nice to officially meet you."

"Olivia Pope.", she confirmed. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Grant. I'm looking forward to working with you and I am really sorry for that run-in the other day."

He studied her and noticed that despite being nervous and a bit embarrassed, she had a confidence about her that he liked. She was a beautiful woman, and based on the fact that she was still in law school she couldn't have been older than her early twenties. Her dark hair was framing her face in soft curls and her make-up was minimal, but perfect. The pantsuit she was wearing was dark grey and the shirt that peeked out from under it was purple and all silk. She looked very professional but still managed to look feminine and sweet.

"Don't apologize. And please call me Fitz. We'll be working together for a couple of months after all."

Surprisingly enough, his offer to call him by his first name didn't make her uncomfortable. He was charming and had a way of putting her at ease, she had to give him that.

"Then I'd like for you to call me Olivia."

He nodded his approval and then walked around the desk to put down his briefcase. Olivia stood, nervously waiting for him to give her instructions. Normally, she liked to take charge of situations, but in this case she was forced to wait and see what he had planned. She had interned before, but never for a firm this big or important, and never for so long.

"I have a confession to make.", Fitz began, bringing her attention back to him. "You're actually my first intern, so if I'm not doing this right, you'll have to tell me."

Olivia smiled and nodded, although she was sure she'd never dare to tell him how to do his job. She let herself look at him as he took off his suit jacket and placed it over the back of his huge chair. His shoulders were broad, and Olivia guessed that there was a well-defined chest hidden underneath the white button-down shirt he was wearing. His choice of tie was tasteful which wasn't a given for most men. When he turned to the side, she quickly assessed his face. His hair was smoothed back, and even though it was early in the day, she could see a few unruly curls trying to escape already. He had a strong jawline and a long, inviting neck. But what captivated her more than anything were his eyes. Olivia had noticed them the moment she had first laid eyes on Fitz only two days ago, and she was focused on them again now. They had such a piercing color, but seemed somewhat dull. She couldn't quite put her finger on what was wrong, but Fitzgerald Grant did not have the eyes of a happy man.

"Before we start, let me show you something."

He led her to a door she hadn't even noticed yet, and opened it with a smile.

"I know it's not much and it is usually only used as a storage room, but there is a desk in here and I cleaned everything up as best as I could.", Fitz smiled. "I thought you could use it as your office while you are here."

Surprised, Olivia's eyes snapped up to meet his. She had not expected this.

"Mr. Grant… Fitz…", she corrected herself. "This really isn't necessary. You didn't have to do this."

"I know, but I am planning on putting you to work, so you need a desk."

Her smile was small but genuine and it made him irrationally happy that it was directed at him. Fitz watched as she inspected the tiny office space happily. She placed her purse on her desk and then trailed her fingers over the surface of the piece of furniture she would be spending so much time behind.

"My first office.", she mumbled to herself, but Fitz caught her words.

"You can only work your way up from here.", he pointed out, earning a crooked smile from Olivia.

"Thank you. I didn't expect all of this when I came to D.C."

"Tell me about yourself.", Fitz said. "I know where you are from and what you do, obviously, but I'd like to know who I will be working with."

Olivia liked the way he made it sound like he was expecting them to be equals. She had learned a lot during her prior internships, but she had also made a lot of coffee, picked up many lunches at corner delis, and copied and filed more paperwork than she cared to remember. As she stood in the little office space Fitz had provided for her, Olivia was reminded why this was exactly what she had always wanted to do in life.

"Well, I don't think there is much to know.", Olivia shrugged. "Practicing law is all I ever wanted to do, so here I am. Nothing special."

Fitz studied her for a moment, noticing not for the first time how quickly Olivia could close herself off. Her eyes were always inquisitive and wide open, and she generally looked like a friendly, sweet girl. At the same time, he had watched her assess him carefully, almost critically, as if she was trying to decide whether to trust him or not. He supposed that it was her natural lawyer instinct, and while it should have made him happy to see she already had that in her, Fitz felt weary about it. It was silly, really, but he wished this young, gorgeous woman didn't feel the need to be so guarded and overly observant. Against his better judgment he hoped he'd be able to make her feel more at ease around him over the course of her internship.

"Get settled and then come see me so I can show you what we'll be working on.", he instructed before stepping back into his own office. "And Olivia? You are one of over 200 qualified young men and women that applied for a summer internship with this law firm, yet here _you_ are. Don't ever sell yourself short."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for the reviews! Someone asked how old Fitz is in this story. He is 36 years old, Olivia is 22. I hope you continue enjoying this story!**

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His words had stuck with Olivia throughout the day and the rest of her first week. She liked to think of herself as a confident woman, but she also knew that she'd never really felt quite comfortable with people telling her she was good at something, or special even. Over the first five days of working with Fitz for Meyer & Associates, however, she had learned to appreciate the fact that people here seemed to recognize her skills. Olivia couldn't have imagined a better start to her internship. Every day, Fitz involved her into the important work he was doing, and he never made her feel like she was just a young student. She looked up to him as a mentor and teacher, but also felt like they were equals in the confines of the office.

"Olivia?"

She lifted her head from the files she had been going over for hours now when she heard Fitz call her name. Pushing her chair back, Olivia stood and walked out of her own little office space and into his much bigger one. They usually kept the door open between them, but Fitz let her work independently once he instructed her on what to do.

"Yes?", she asked, rubbing her forehead to ease the headache that was beginning to form.

"Did you have any luck with those papers at all?", Fitz asked, and she noticed that he looked as annoyed as she felt.

"Nothing.", Olivia admitted. "I've read over them several times, but there is nothing in there that we could use to nail her husband down."

Fitz smiled slightly at her choice of words. He liked that Olivia seemed to automatically assume that 'they' would be working this client's case together, rather than him doing it alone. She was such an unbelievably intelligent young woman, that it was sometimes hard for him to believe that she wasn't even a lawyer yet. Over the past few days, Olivia had worked tirelessly to assist him with his latest client. The case was confusing, time-consuming, and difficult, but she never backed down from any challenge he threw at her.

"He's clever. We'll find something, we have to."

She watched him get up and stretch his sore neck and back. He had loosened his tie at some point during the day and it was hanging messily around his neck. The usually perfectly styled hair was a mess of unruly curls, and Olivia knew he must have run his hand through it many times during the day. He did that frequently. She'd watched him do it.

"We will.", Olivia confirmed, because she knew they both had their minds set on doing the best work they possibly could for the client.

"For now, we're calling it a night though.", he spoke. "It's getting late. I'm sorry for keeping you here for so long today."

Olivia's eyes drifted to the large window behind his desk, and for the first time she noticed that it was already dark. Her stomach dropped. Up until that Friday evening, she'd left the office every day at six o'clock, because Fitz had insisted on it even though she was sure he stayed long after she'd returned home. Today, however, they'd both gotten so lost in their work that nobody had even thought to check the time. Unaware of her inner turmoil, Fitz continued speaking.

"I'm sure a girl like you has better things to do on a Friday night anyway."

He winked at her, but it did nothing to ease the panic Olivia was beginning to feel. She didn't like going out, especially in a city that was still foreign to her. Truthfully, Olivia wanted nothing more than to be home, but she couldn't tell him that. Forcing a smile, she gathered her things. Her hands were shaking, and if she weren't so used to the uneasy feeling, she might have thought she'd throw up any moment.

"I'll see you tomorrow?", she asked, because they had an unspoken agreement to work on this case relentlessly until they'd find a solution to the problem – weekend or not.

"Yes, but let me walk out with you. I'm ready to get out of this office."

Together, they walked down the long hallway and entered the elevator. They were two of only a handful of people still left in the building this late on a Friday. The closer they got to the doors, the more nervous Olivia could feel herself getting. Her hands were clammy and shaking, and she grabbed her purse and briefcase tighter in a futile attempt to calm down. As soon as her heel-clad feet hit the pavement, Olivia's eyes darted left and right. She hated the darkness. Fitz was talking to her, but she had a feeling she'd already missed half of his words.

"Are you going to need a cab?"

"No.", Olivia replied, wondering if her voice sounded as weak as it felt. "It's really close, only about fifteen minutes."

"I never realized the apartment was that close to the office.", he smiled. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

Olivia nodded her head and told him goodnight. She barely waited for his response before she made her way towards her apartment. Fitz watched her walk away. He noticed how she looked around with every fast-paced step she took, nearly running down the street. Her behavior worried him, but then he realized that it was late and she was probably just as tired as he was. She probably just wanted to get home as fast as possible. Groaning, he realized that he could have offered her a ride, no matter how short the distance between the office and her apartment was. He wanted to call out to her, but Olivia was already turning a corner and then she was out of sight. With a sigh, Fitz made his way home.

The moment she stepped into her small apartment, Olivia finally breathed. She closed and locked the front door and quickly pushed her belongings into a corner. It was too late to cook and she didn't feel like ordering out, so she decided to skip dinner altogether. She turned on the light in the living room, then did the same in the kitchen. Discarding her jacket, Olivia moved on to the bedroom and turned on all of the lights in there as well. With every light bulb that illuminated the apartment just a little bit more she could feel her tense body calm and relax.

Across town, Fitz entered his Georgetown apartment, carelessly tossing his keys on the small table by the door. His home was large and beautiful, but much too big for him alone. The state-of-the-art kitchen was nearly unused, even though he had lived here for a little over a year now. Just like his office, Fitz' home didn't give away much about him. The pictures on the wall were expensive paintings rather than family photos, and he didn't leave any personal items lying around. Fitz made his way into his bedroom where he fell onto the bed with a sigh. His home was dark, the rooms only illuminated by the streetlights. He'd always preferred it that way. A thought crossed his mind and he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket.

"Hello?", she answered on the fourth ring.

"Olivia, hey, it's me… Fitz."

"How'd you get my number?", Olivia asked quickly, before realizing that she was being rude to the man who was currently her boss.

"It was in your file and I saved it in case I would ever need to contact you.", Fitz explained. "I'm sorry. I should have asked if that's okay with you."

"No, no. It's fine! I was just surprised."

"Look…", he began, and Olivia thought he sounded almost nervous. "I realized it was completely rude of me to let you walk home without offering you a ride and I wanted to apologize for that."

She smiled at the thought of him caring about her in a way very few did.

"I always walk home.", she pointed out. "It's fine."

"I know you do, which is why it didn't even cross my mind at the time. But you really shouldn't have to do that when it's dark out. So… I'm sorry, and I hope you got home safely."

"I did, Fitz.", Olivia confirmed, and he heard the slight change in her voice.

"Is everything okay?"

Olivia hated that he seemed to be able to read her so easily, even over the phone. It had taken her a long time to build up a wall that people could not see through, but Fitz seemed have a way of peeking through the cracks. The last things she wanted was for him to see her as anything other than a hard-working, strong-willed future lawyer. She'd worked too hard to be strong for him to see her weak.

"Of course. You really don't need to feel bad."

Fitz still wasn't convinced, but he decided to let it go because it was obviously what she wanted. She'd fallen into her role of his intern and co-worker so naturally, that he never wanted to risk that work relationship. Olivia was smarter and more accomplished than any intern he'd ever seen work at Meyer & Associates, and her insight had been truly helpful throughout their first week together. She could recite law books like they were her favorite song, but at the same time she had the ability to think outside of the box and make him consider steps he would have never thought of himself. As she was becoming more comfortable with her work and with him, Olivia had let him see glimpses of her witty side as well. She wasn't loud and outwardly funny like some people, but her sense of humor was dry and smart and he liked that a lot. Her no-nonsense work ethic mirrored his own and they had become a great team in the shortest time.

"I promise I will not let it happen again."

He sounded playful, but Olivia detected the seriousness beneath his words. The implication that Fitz would never let her walk home alone in the dark again relaxed her more than the safety of her locked and well-lit apartment ever could.

"Well, I appreciate that.", Olivia answered, hoping he wouldn't hear just how thankful she really was.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning. I'm bringing breakfast, but you're in charge of the coffee."

"Deal.", she laughed, genuinely. "Goodnight, Fitz."

"Goodnight, Liv."

She caught his slip instantly, because he had never called her anything other than 'Olivia'. It made her smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**I love reading all your theories and questions! I will answer them all... eventually. ;) Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites; it's very much appreciated. **

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"Shit.", Olivia mumbled, wiping her lips.

He laughed, watching as her normally serious face scrunched up in disgust. She placed the large coffee cup on the desk and carefully pushed it towards him, making sure not to spill anything.

"What?", Fitz grinned, even though he could guess what had caused her to curse.

"I grabbed the wrong cup. This must be your coffee. I don't know how you drink this stuff like that."

"Because I don't add a gallon of milk and enough sugar to cause diabetes?", he teased, exchanging the cup and handing Olivia the right one.

"Funny.", she grumbled, but the smile on her face gave her away. "Do you want me to get you a fresh coffee?"

"Why? I like mine with a bit of lipstick on the cup.", Fitz winked, taking a sip to prove his point and then licking his lips exaggeratedly.

Olivia shook her head, blushing at his playfulness. They were sitting on opposite sides of his oversized desk, a mess of papers and files between them. She had brought in the promised coffees, and Fitz had provided enough breakfast to feed the entire office. He watched her bite into a blueberry muffin, adding to the crumbs that were already all over his usually tidy desk. It was completely irrational and out of line, but Fitz wanted to reach out and wipe the crumbs off her full lips. To him, Olivia was one of the most fascinating people he'd ever met, and he wanted nothing more than to get to know the real girl behind the façade she had established.

Pretending to read the file in front of her, Olivia glanced up at her boss from beneath her eyelashes. She looked up to him professionally and respected who he was as a lawyer, but what truly pulled her in was the _real_ Fitz. Olivia liked how playful he could be and how at ease he seemed when they worked together. He wasn't afraid to tease her, but never overstepped the boundaries. She liked getting to know him.

"I talked to Susan earlier today and she is faxing her husband's latest credit card statement to us.", Fitz explained. "She said there is a charge on there that she can't place so that might have something to do with our mystery girl."

"Did she tell you what that charge was for?"

"She did and it sounds like the name of a hotel or restaurant, but it didn't ring a bell with her at all, so we're going to have to look into it and see what it's all about."

"Alright, but we know he travels all the time for work, so why would a hotel or restaurant be a surprise at all?", Olivia questioned, taking a sip of her own, much better tasting coffee.

"Because once we know when he checked in there…"

"… we can find out if someone checked in with him.", she finished, grinning as Fitz nodded his head.

"Exactly."

"And if we can't get that information, we can try talking to someone with his company to see if he was supposed to be traveling for business on those days."

He loved her enthusiasm for the job, and how quickly and easily she was able to connect the dots. It seemed like Olivia's mind was always racing, and she certainly didn't stop until they had answers. When the fax machine beeped, she jumped up quickly, waiting for the credit card statement to print.

"You want me to research this?", she asked, and he couldn't have told her no if he'd wanted to.

"That'd be great.", Fitz confirmed, adding: "Bring your laptop out here. If you want, of course."

She nodded, and turned to grab the computer from her office. They'd never actually shared the same workspace, but somehow they functioned perfectly. Every so often, Fitz would look up from his work and simply study her. She completely submerged herself in her tasks. He had learned that Olivia would raise her right eyebrow whenever she saw something of interest, scrunch her nose when she was confused or didn't like something, and tap the pad of her index finger against her bottom lip when she was deep in thought. Today, she wore the lightest, barely noticeable shade of lipstick, but it enhanced her gorgeous lips beautifully. Fitz wondered if they felt as soft as they looked, and if they tasted as sweet as the coffee she was drinking. Shaking himself inwardly, he returned his eyes to the screen of his laptop, because it was wrong to think of his young intern in such ways.

Olivia knew he had been looking at her repeatedly, and she tried her best not to let him see her blush. His interest in her made her nervous, but not necessarily in a bad way. She didn't think of herself as beautiful, but she wasn't naïve enough to think that men didn't look at her often. Fitz, though, never stared in that uncomfortable way many men did. He was always subtle, but Olivia was observant and wasn't fooled. When he started typing again, she peeked at him. Based solely on the absence of pictures in his office and the fact that he spent nearly every day here long after it was dark, Olivia had concluded that he must be single. She was surprised, because not only was Fitz successful, but he was charming and handsome. She liked his strong jaw and the piercing eyes, and although he always looked tired, it didn't take away from how good looking he truly was. The ringing of his phone brought Olivia out of her thoughts and she excused herself to give him some privacy. When she returned, he was out of his chair.

"I'm going to run something by the boss.", Fitz offered.

"Okay, I'm going to keep working on this."

"Could you do me a favor, actually?", he asked. "Susan sent me older records about a week ago and I think those might actually be useful now to help us understand the bigger picture here. I put them away because I didn't think we would actually need them, and I have no idea where they are. I think I have them in the desk somewhere. Or maybe that first filing cabinet. Usually I'm more organized, but…"

"Got it. Don't worry about it, I'll find them.", Olivia assured him.

"I don't doubt it."

He left the office to find his boss down the hall, and Olivia got to work. She hesitated briefly, weary about invading his privacy, but then she realized he had allowed her to go through is things. Opening the first drawer of the desk, Olivia giggled. The outwardly always neat Fitz was hiding his messy little secret behind closed drawers. Papers, folders, letters, and clutter were mixed with office supplies, and Olivia suddenly understood why he wasn't able to find the needed paperwork. Taking things out one small pile at a time, she began going through everything in search of their client's fax. By the third desk drawer she was beginning to get frustrated. Instead of simply going through everything in front of her, Olivia was also organizing Fitz' things. His mess was separated into piles of client-related paperwork, receipts, personal mail, and miscellaneous items. At the bottom of the drawer she found a small piece of paper that looked like a photograph. The back of it showed a feminine handwriting, dating the picture back to nearly two years ago. Olivia reached for it and flipped it over.

Her breath caught at the image in front of her. She was holding the grainy black and white ultrasound picture of an unborn child. Although Olivia didn't know anything about how to read one of those, she assumed it must have been taken late in the pregnancy. The baby's little body was clearly visible, and she could make out its nose, eyes, lips, and ears. Two tiny hands were balled into fists, and Olivia studied the image in awe. Her eyes drifted to the top corner where the patient name was listed as 'Mellie Grant'.

Olivia knew it was utterly irrational, but her stomach dropped when she realized that Fitz was not only married, but also had at least one child. Although it would have never changed the relationship they had established over the past week and she hated to admit it even to herself, she had liked the idea of him being single. Olivia wondered why he had never mentioned his family, but she realized that they had known each other for less than a week and it was probably only normal for Fitz to keep his private life out of the office. She was such an intensely private person herself that she could not fault him for it.

"What's that?", Fitz asked, joining her in the office again.

When she looked up at him, he could see the shock on Olivia's face. The paper in her hand was small, and although Fitz couldn't actually see it well, he knew immediately what it was. He wanted to convince himself that he had simply forgotten about the existence of the ultrasound picture, but if he was being honest he could admit to himself that it wasn't true. The presence of that picture was always in the back of his mind, and it was not an accident that it was still there, buried under mountains of paperwork.

"You have a child?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for the love! I know this story is moving relatively slow for those waiting for Liv and Fitz to do more than talk and work together, but there are several reasons for that. I'm so grateful that people like this story anyway. x**

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Olivia watched his whole face change and immediately regretted asking the question. His sad eyes turned darker and for just a moment, she thought she could see tears gather in them before he quickly schooled his expression. Fitz looked defeated, almost broken, and Olivia wanted to reach out to him, but would have never dared.

"I'm sorry.", she whispered. "It's absolutely none of my business."

He considered agreeing with her and telling her not to worry about what she'd seen. For some reason, however, Fitz felt the need to actually answer the questions he knew she had.

"Come on.", he finally spoke. "Let's go get a late lunch somewhere."

She wanted to tell him no, but he looked so utterly broken that she wouldn't have denied him anything. One look at him and Olivia knew he was not a happily married man and father. Fitz returned the ultrasound picture to its previous hiding place, and the two of them left the office wordlessly. They walked for a few minutes and came across a couple of small cafés, but Fitz never stopped so Olivia simply continued following him. Eventually he stopped and looked around, seeming completely lost.

"I want to go somewhere quiet so we can talk.", he sighed. "I don't know where."

"I do.", Olivia replied, gesturing for him to follow her.

They walked for another ten minutes, before stopping in front of an apartment building. Fitz looked at her questioningly, but suddenly understood when she pulled a set of keys from her purse. Olivia's mind was racing. She was allowing a man into her home that she barely knew. It was risky, and crazy, and so completely unlike anything she'd ever done before, but she felt absolutely no fear or tread when Fitz was around. Together, they entered her temporary home. He stood there, a little awkwardly, waiting for Olivia to instruct him on what to do.

"I can make us sandwiches. Or pasta. And I think there might be a frozen pizza somewhere."

"I'm not really that hungry.", Fitz admitted sheepishly.

Olivia understood, because she really wasn't hungry either and lunch had merely been an excuse to leave the office and talk somewhere more quiet and private. Pouring them two glasses of water, Olivia joined Fitz in the living room on the couch. He looked uncomfortable and nervous, and she wished there was something she could do to make him feel a little bit better.

"Fitz…", she began slowly. "I want to apologize for earlier. That was a private picture and I should have put it back and left it alone. Your life outside of the office is none of my business. I was just surprised. I'm really sorry."

"You don't have to be, Olivia. I asked you to go through my desk; I'd just forgotten that the picture is in there. It caught me off guard."

She nodded in understanding, but didn't push him to explain further. Fitz was in the office or in court six, sometimes seven days a week. Combined with the fact that there was virtually no proof of a family in his office other than a hidden ultrasound picture, Olivia had concluded that his marriage and family life must have been broken for a long time. Shifting on the couch, Fitz glanced at her. He'd asked her to leave work with him so they could talk, but now he didn't know where to start.

"I met Mellie – my wife – when we were both in law school. My father arranged a lunch for us. She was sweet, smart, and very ambitious, but I probably wouldn't have seen her again. Our families had other plans though, and I know that sounds like something out of the 18th century, but I think both of us played along for the sake of peace. Mellie, she's… she's very much like my father. They both plan every step of their lives to make sure they get the most out of it, and our relationship was no different. I allowed them to plan my future for me."

For a moment he was quiet, and Olivia let his words sink in. She wasn't naïve, and she knew that marriages were arranged every day to assure political success, professional and financial security, or to keep up the façade of a perfect family. It wasn't news to her, but it was still shocking to find out that this charming, confident man was part of such a set-up.

"We bonded over law books and political functions, and before I knew it I was asking her to marry me, because that's what was expected after being seen together for a year. We moved to D.C. to practice law, you know… nice house, beautiful yard, fancy cars. We were content, I guess."

"Were you happy?", Olivia whispered, noticing his choice of words.

"I don't know.", he admitted. "I don't think I was ever truly happy until…"

"The baby."

"Yeah.", Fitz replied in a hoarse voice. "We had talked about children early on. I wanted them, she didn't. But Mellie knew that it was just another thing that was expected of her as a wife and us as a successful, influential couple, so she set a date when pregnancy would be convenient for her. We got pregnant almost right away."

Olivia noticed the little smile that had formed on his lips at the mention of the pregnancy, but it never reached his sad eyes. There was a melancholy to the way he spoke about his wife that made Olivia's heart ache for him. She'd never met the woman, never even knew about her until now, but Olivia already disliked Mellie.

"I was so happy when we found out, but Mellie seemed kind of indifferent. I know she was happy too, it just wasn't very obvious. Watching her bump grow a little every week, the stupid cravings, even her mood swings… I loved all of that. She hated gaining weight and getting sick and having to adjust her wardrobe and lifestyle, but I loved every second of watching our baby grow inside of her. I was so happy, Olivia."

He stopped again, and Olivia noticed the far-away look in his eyes as he stared straight ahead. His hands were in his lap and he was alternating between wringing them together and wiping them against the fabric of his pants. She was sure it was a completely subconscious action, but Olivia almost wanted to reach out and take his hands into her own to calm him.

"That ultrasound picture you found was taken three weeks before Mellie's due date. I wanted to be surprised, but my wife was a planner, so we had found out about the sex of the baby as early as possible. I actually cried when we found out that we were having a girl. Mellie thought I was being ridiculous. The nursery was all cream colors and light pinks; it looked beautiful. The week before she was due, Mellie wasn't feeling well. She didn't think it felt like contractions, and her water hadn't broken, but she just felt like something wasn't right."

Olivia's stomach dropped. The story was taking a turn she had not expected and now she was filled with tread at the possibilities.

"What happened?", she asked quietly.

"They couldn't find a heartbeat. She… our baby was stillborn. They induced Mellie and she… she had to give birth to our daughter, but she was already dead."

A single tear rolled down his cheek and this time Olivia couldn't stop herself. She reached out and placed her own hand over his entwined ones. Fitz only hesitated for a second before catching her tiny hand between his much bigger ones, taking comfort in her gesture.

"They placed her in Mellie's arms, and it was the first and only time I've ever seen my wife cry. Our daughter was so beautiful, Olivia. She had this beautiful dark, wispy hair and her skin was so soft. But… she wasn't… she wasn't rosy like babies are supposed to be. She was so pale, like a little doll. And she didn't cry, or move. She was just resting in Mellie's arms, like a peaceful little angel."

Olivia didn't pull her hand free, but used her second one to place it on his back. Slowly, she smoothed her hand up and down Fitz' back in a futile attempt to take some of his pain away.

"What was her name?"

Fitz turned his head to look at her with glassy, tear-filled eyes.

"Caitlin. Caitlin Elizabeth Grant.", he replied.

"That's a beautiful name.", Olivia smiled sadly. "Fitz, I am so sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry you've had to relive that day because of me."

"I relive it every single day.", Fitz admitted. "I've never told anyone about it. I mean, people know that we lost our baby, of course, but I've never actually talked about her."

"What about your wife? Didn't you ever talk to her about it?", Olivia questioned.

"Never. I tried, but Mellie went back to her normal life the second we stepped out of the hospital. And I know that was her way of coping; I know she struggled too, but she never showed it. I don't know if she ever actually allowed herself to grieve the loss of our child."

"Have you?", Olivia asked. "Have you allowed yourself to grieve?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know what it's like to be happy anymore, so maybe that means I am still grieving. Mellie and I… we didn't make it."

"What do you mean?"

"We got divorced a few months after we lost Caitlin. We weren't happy before, but I think I was counting on the baby to save our marriage. Everything was just so… cold… after that day. Mellie and I didn't talk to each other, barely ever slept in the same room, and when I brought up divorce she just kind of… agreed without another word. I think part of her died in that hospital bed that day, but Mellie would have never even dared to admit hurt or defeat."

"I'm sorry that you couldn't make it work with your wife."

"I'm not.", Fitz shrugged sadly. "We were always wrong for each other. I'm just sorry that we couldn't help each other through this… nightmare. Listen, Olivia, I'm sorry for unloading all of this on you. It's not fair, and not what you signed up for when you came to D.C."

"I don't mind. But Fitz, I truly didn't mean to open all of your wounds again."

"You know…", Fitz sighed brokenly. "I think I needed to talk about it. Thank you, Liv."


	6. Chapter 6

**Your reviews are amazing. Thank you! **

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After sitting with him in silence for a while, Olivia had gotten up to make them a meal after all. Lunch time had long since passed, but she decided that Fitz needed to eat, so she had taken it upon of herself to cook them an early pasta dinner. She opened a jar of tomato sauce and chopped a few fresh tomatoes to add. The water for the spaghetti was beginning to boil, and Olivia watched the sauce simmer on the stove in front of her. It wasn't a fancy dinner, but she hoped it would help Fitz feel better anyway. She wondered how often he had a home-cooked meal, and if someone ever bothered to check on him and make sure he was doing okay. When dinner was ready, Olivia filled two plates and carried them into the living room. The kitchen was small, and she decided they could eat on the couch. Rounding the corner, Olivia stopped.

Fitz was asleep on her couch. His head had fallen against the back of the couch, and even in his sleep he did not look relaxed. The lighting allowed Olivia to see the tracks of his dried tears on his cheeks and the deep, dark circles under his eyes. Quietly, she sat the plates on the coffee table, before taking a seat next to his sleeping form. Olivia wondered how many nights this man spent lying awake, pondering, remembering, grieving. She understood now that his work was his escape, because in the busy office he could forget about the death of his child and his failed marriage. Although Fitz didn't know it, Olivia understood that. Working hard, going to school, and spending every day studying was her very own escape. Olivia knew Fitz must have been physically and mentally exhausted for him to fall asleep in the short amount of time it had taken her to prepare dinner, but she had no other choice but to wake him now.

"Fitz?", she whispered, hoping she wouldn't startle him.

When he didn't react, Olivia reached out but hesitated. She didn't know what it was about this man that made her want to be close to him. It was such a foreign feeling that it scared Olivia. Her fingertips met his shoulder, and she carefully stroked the soft fabric of his button down shirt there.

"Fitz? Dinner is ready."

Finally, he stirred, his eyes opening and drifting across the room for a moment before he remembered where he was. Fitz turned to find Olivia sitting next to him, a small smile playing on her lips. Her hand was warm against his shoulder, and he briefly wondered if she even knew that she was still touching him.

"Hi.", he mumbled sleepily.

"Hi.", Olivia replied. "I'm sorry to wake you but I didn't want the food to get cold."

"It's fine. Sorry for falling asleep on you."

She simply smiled at him, hoping he knew that she didn't mind at all. They ate in silence, with Fitz mumbling his appreciation every now and then. Olivia wondered just how rare home cooked meals were for him if a simple pasta dish could make him this happy. When they finished, he helped her carry the dishes into the kitchen. Fitz offered to clean up since she had cooked, but Olivia declined. Together, they returned to the couch.

"You're a great cook. Thank you.", Fitz praised.

"Even I can boil water.", Olivia giggled. "But you're welcome."

"Now, you've learned more about me in a day than most people that have known me for years. Tell me something about you. No excuses."

Olivia hesitated, because she had become accustomed to not sharing the details of her life with anyone. It was a defense mechanism that assured she would never share too much with anyone at any time. As much as that had made her feel safe over the years, it had also made Olivia a lonely person.

"I'm an only-child and I grew up in New York City.", she finally offered. "My parents never had a lot of money so I worked hard to get a scholarship to go to college. I'm always making sure my grades are good, because I could never afford losing that kind of financial support."

"You're very determined.", Fitz observed. "I noticed that the first day we worked together."

She shrugged: "It's the only way to get where I want to be."

Fitz nodded, enthralled by how beautiful she looked at that moment. She was a fighter, he understood that now – a strong, determined, hard-working woman with a fire burning deep within her. But at the same time, there was something so soft and innocent about Olivia that reminded him how young she really was. She was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, expecting him to ask another question, and Fitz almost blushed when he realized that he'd been staring.

"What do you do when I'm not holding you hostage in the office?", Fitz grinned.

"Nothing, really. I don't know anyone in this city."

"And normally? When you're in school or at home?"

He knew he was being pushy, but Fitz wanted to get to know her better. He wanted to know who Olivia Pope really was. The walls that had barely even begun to crumble closed around her once again. He could see the moment Olivia turned into herself, her face once again unreadable to him.

"School keeps me pretty busy.", she said. "I don't go out much."

There was more behind her statement, but Fitz decided not to push her. It worried him that she felt the need to be so private, almost secretive, but he was normally a very private person as well. He smiled at Olivia, hoping to ease her worries – whatever they may be – just a little.

"Have you had a chance to explore D.C. yet? It's a pretty magnificent city."

"No.", she admitted. "I haven't seen much of it other than what I come across on my way to work."

"Good.", Fitz replied, and she looked at him questioningly. "Would you like to see more of it tomorrow? I could give you the special tour."

"What's the special tour?", Olivia asked, hesitant.

"Well, it's free, which already makes it much better than all the other tours. And I'm the guide. So there's another reason to say yes."

This time, Olivia laughed. He was impossibly charming – something that usually didn't work with her. Fitz was looking at her expectantly, and she noticed that his eyes looked just a little bit brighter than they had all day. It made her happy, knowing that Fitz wasn't as devastatingly sad as he had been when he'd opened up to her about his family. She was letting her guard down around him, allowing herself to take risks that she hadn't taken in years, but somehow it seemed like it was the right thing to do.

"Will I get to see all of the good stuff?", she teased.

"Of course. I know this city well, Ms. Pope. You are going to get the best tour you could ever imagine.", Fitz joked. "If you say yes, that is."

Olivia thought about his offer for a moment, making him wait for an answer. Deep down, she had already decided, but she quite enjoyed the look of nervous anticipation on Fitz' face. Finally, she decided to stop making him wait.

"Okay. I'll give you a chance."

The side of his mouth lifted into a lopsided grin, almost as if he was trying to hide how pleased he was with himself. Olivia could see right through him, but she didn't call him out because she was trying hard to hide her own smile. She watched as Fitz got up and gathered his jacket. It was beginning to get late, and Olivia couldn't believe how much time he had spent in her apartment. Together, they walked to the door.

"I will pick you up at ten tomorrow morning, if that's okay with you.", Fitz said.

"I'll be ready."

For a moment, they simply looked at each other, lingering in the doorway. Fitz reached out and gently ran the tip of his index finger over the back of Olivia's hand. Her hands remained at her sides, but she didn't move to pull away. The small, invisible circles he was drawing felt surprisingly calming and his touch didn't make her nervous in a bad way.

"Thank you for today, Liv. I never realized that I needed to talk about … all of this. I just… thank you."

Olivia nodded her head in understanding: "You're welcome. And if you ever feel the need to talk about Caitlin, don't hesitate."

Fitz smiled slightly, feeling oddly comforted by the way Olivia called his daughter by her name. She made him feel like his baby girl was real, like she wasn't just a forgotten shadow of his past. She made him feel like it was okay to talk about her, remember her, even though he had never had the chance to experience a life with his daughter. Slowly, Fitz wrapped his fingers around Olivia's much smaller hand, squeezing it gently. He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, lingering for just a moment. Olivia didn't dare to move, simply allowing his lips to rest against her skin. It was the most innocent of kisses, but to her, it was an unfathomable leap of faith to let him be this close.

"I'll see you tomorrow.", Fitz finally mumbled.

Then he was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know I usually update every three days, but I will be traveling next week so I can't promise that I will be able to keep up with that. I'll try my best though!**

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"What about the Lincoln Memorial, Mr. Super-Tour-Guide?", Olivia teased, raising her eyebrow at the man sitting across from her.

They were sitting on the patio of a small Italian restaurant, their empty plates on the table between them. Fitz had convinced her to have dinner with him to thank Olivia for the meal she had cooked him the night before. For hours, they had explored Washington D.C. He had shown her many of the famous sights, but also took her to spots that weren't as well-known, but oftentimes even more beautiful. Olivia had been excited and happy in a way that had lifted his spirits. Her historical knowledge of the things they'd visited that day was just as good as his own, but Fitz knew she had enjoyed listening to him explain everything. When the afternoon had begun turning into early evening, Fitz had taken Olivia to his favorite restaurant.

"I haven't forgotten about that.", he grinned.

Olivia had spotted the memorial earlier, but they hadn't actually gone there to see it. She'd wanted to bring it up, but he was her guide and she was enjoying his way of showing her the city way too much to suggest anything other than what he was doing.

"So, we'll go there?", Olivia asked, confused.

The sun was beginning to set, and in another hour it would be dark. Although she was enjoying the time she was spending with Fitz, Olivia had hoped to be back at her apartment before darkness would settle over the city.

"Have you ever seen pictures of D.C. by night?", Fitz asked, watching Olivia nod her head slowly. "There is a special tour that doesn't start until after dark, taking tourists to a number of monuments and sights that are especially beautiful all lit up at night. The Lincoln Memorial is one of them. I've always thought out of all the sights they show on this tour, that one is the most stunning. So… I was hoping to take you there once the sun has set."

Olivia didn't know how to reply to his offer. Being with him today had been wonderful. Fitz was lighthearted and funny, and she had marveled at how well he knew the city. It was so different to see him in jeans and t-shirt rather than a suit and watching him smile – genuinely – after the heartache of their conversation the day before made her happy. But now, Olivia could feel her nerves beginning to get the better of her once again. It was irrational, because the logical part of her knew that there would be many people around doing exactly what they were doing, especially because it was such a warm and beautiful evening. However, she couldn't help but feel afraid.

Now, Fitz was looking at her expectantly, waiting for her answer. She _wanted_ to see the Lincoln Memorial by night, but more than that, she wanted to keep the smile on his face, and in his eyes. For the second time in only two days, Olivia took at leap of faith at the hands of the man she was beginning to trust more than she trusted anyone.

"Okay.", she agreed.

He smiled, but noticed her hesitance and the inner battle raging behind her chocolate eyes. Determined not to allow Olivia to pull back from him like she seemed to do frequently, Fitz called for their waitress.

"We're having dessert and you're picking.", he ordered playfully.

She relaxed visibly and replied: "Well, since you're paying, I'm going all out.", adding: "We'll have the brownie sundae."

A genuine laugh escaped him, surprised by her playfulness. Dessert arrived with two spoons and they smiled at each other shyly before beginning to eat. Every now and then, their eyes would meet over the tall sundae, and Fitz reveled in the light blush that seemed to color her cheeks permanently now. When they were done, he pushed the dish out of the way and grinned at Olivia.

"You have good taste, Miss Pope. That was delicious."

She nodded absentmindedly, her eyes fixed on the small drop of chocolate sauce that had caught on his bottom lip. To Olivia's surprise, his lips looked inviting. She was young, but not young enough to be unaware that such feelings existed. To her, however, these feelings were foreign. Her fingers twitched uncharacteristically in her lap, and before she could stop herself, Olivia was reaching out to him.

The soft skin of her thumb meeting his lip startled Fitz. She stared at him, wide-eyed and completely surprised by her own actions. Carefully, Olivia wiped the tiny drop of chocolate off his lip, showing him the evidence with a sheepish smile. She watched as his eyes lowered to inspect the tip of her finger, before meeting hers once again. Before she had a chance to pull her hand away, Fitz caught her wrist in a gentle grasp. He leaned forward, and quickly kissed the chocolate off Olivia's finger. When he released her hand, she pulled it back into her lap quickly. They both lowered their heads, embarrassed. Olivia had to bit the inside of her cheek so he wouldn't see her smile.

"Ready?", Fitz asked after he had paid the bill, hoping to break their somewhat awkward silence.

"Let's do it."

The Lincoln Memorial was no more than a ten minute walk from the restaurant, but they'd barely taken a handful of steps when Fitz noticed Olivia's mood shift once again. The sun had set, leaving the city with a soft glow. With every step they took, Olivia's eyes would dart left and right, almost as if she was looking for something or someone. The fingers of her left hand were bunched into the soft material of her sundress, while the other hand seemed to have an almost bruising grip on her purse. Fitz watched out of the corner of his eyes for another minute or two, trying to decide what he could say to bring her out of the trance she seemed to be in. Finally, he decided to throw caution in the wind.

Olivia nearly jumped when she felt her hand being caught in his much bigger one. She had been scanning the darkened streets ever since they had left the restaurant, but now her eyes snapped up to meet his. Fitz didn't say anything, but simply smiled at her. His large hand covered hers completely, giving her a sense of security. Her racing heart began to beat more steadily as the neared the Lincoln Memorial.

He'd been right. Washington D.C. was absolutely stunning by night. Fitz grinned at her surprised gasp when the sight came into view, leading her closer.

"I told you!"

"Fitz, it's so beautiful."

She sounded like she was completely in awe, and he remembered feeling the same way many years ago when he'd first come to D.C.

"I always thought it makes this strange, powerful place look so much more gentle and romantic. It almost turns it into a different city."

"Pictures really don't do it justice.", Olivia spoke.

"I agree. It's not the same as actually sitting on the steps of the famous Lincoln Memorial and taking in the view."

He pulled her along, pleased with himself for bringing her here. Olivia seemed completely fascinated, and it made Fitz happy that she was having the reaction he had hoped for. Hand in hand, they arrived on the steps of the famous sight, and he motioned for her to sit with him. Fitz sat close to her, so close that she could feel his thigh touch hers through the material of their clothing. He was talking to her, explaining the history of the monument to her much like he had been doing all day, but this time Olivia wasn't paying attention. Fitz' deep voice was soothing even when she wasn't following the words he was speaking. A shiver ran down her spine.

"Are you cold?", Fitz asked, always able to pick up on the slight changes in her.

"A little.", she lied, not wanting to explain the real reason behind the goose bumps that were beginning to form on her skin.

Her dress was light, but the air was still warm around them. Still, Fitz hated to think Olivia was anything other than comfortable. He paused for a moment, because even though he always picked up on Olivia's moods, he could never quite interpret or understand them. Finally, Fitz lifted his arm, giving her enough time to process his intentions. Olivia felt stunned, but forced herself to show him none of that. Eventually, his arm wrapped around her shouldesr slowly. When she didn't pull away from him, Fitz brought her closer against his side.

"Better?", he asked quietly.

"Yes.", Olivia replied, even though the shivers continued.

She wasn't sure if he was doing it consciously, but Fitz had begun to gently run his fingers up and down her bare arm. Her eyes traveled across the city, and Olivia allowed herself to actually enjoy the mix of darkness and light. Fitz' body was warm and solid beside her, and she barely even remembered that he was her boss and she was his intern. This time, she didn't hesitate or question herself; she simply let her head fall to his shoulder. Looking down at her, Fitz smiled. His heart was racing, but Olivia seemed completely calm now. He leaned down, kissing the side of her head affectionately.

"You're something special, Liv.", Fitz whispered so quietly that she almost missed it.

Olivia smiled to herself, lifting her hand to cover his that was still stroking her arm. She removed her head from his shoulder and looked into his beautiful eyes. The only sound he could hear was the insistent thrumming of his heart slamming against his chest. He leaned in but waited, giving her time to say 'no'. When Olivia only looked at him with hooded eyes, Fitz closed the small gap between them and kissed her softly.

For the first time in nearly three years, she wasn't afraid of the dark.


	8. Chapter 8

**These next few chapters were really difficult to write, and I hope I am doing the topic justice. Let me know what you think!**

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The kiss occupied her mind all week. Fitz had taken her home that night, and although they had barely spoken ever since his lips had touched hers, the silence was never uncomfortable. He'd told her goodnight and Olivia had almost asked him to come in, but then her nerves had gotten the better of her. In the office, they had been working together just as efficiently as before, but Olivia knew things had changed between them. Nobody would have noticed, but she was well aware of it and she knew that Fitz was too.

Their tiny, innocent touches were more frequent and lingering now. He would rest his large hand against the small of her back to guide her through a door, and Olivia would shiver. She'd hand him a file and his fingers would carefully stroke along the soft skin of her own. Sometimes, she'd catch Fitz staring at her, and although she would blush, she enjoyed it. By the time Friday came around, Fitz longed to feel her lips again.

"Liv?", he called, trying to get her attention.

"Just a second.", she replied from the small office space next to his.

He had been listening to her type away for hours now, completely submerged in the work he'd given her a few days ago. But now it was getting late and Fitz was ready to call it a night. For the past four days he had taken her home every night no matter what time they'd been able to leave the office. He enjoyed being able to do this one little thing for her, when she'd done so much for him since she'd entered his life not long ago.

"I'm sorry, I was finishing up with the Coleman file. What did you need?", Olivia asked when she finally joined him at his desk.

"I'm ready to get out of here if you are.", he smiled as she nodded her head.

Fitz no longer offered to take her home; it had become an unspoken agreement that Olivia appreciated more than she let on. They joined a few other lawyers in the elevator before walking to Fitz' parked car together. Before he pulled out of the parking lot, Fitz turned to her.

"I was kind of… wondering if you'd like to have… you know… dinner with me."

Olivia smiled inwardly, enjoying the way he stumbled over his words. She had seen him in court – full of confidence and always eloquent. It thrilled her to know that she could make him lose some of that. Olivia found it endearing.

"I mean, you've cooked for me in your home, so I was hoping to return the favor.", he added.

Olivia didn't mind being alone with him, and she was learning that she actually quite enjoyed moments when it would be just the two of them, but that didn't stop her from being nervous. She felt a sense of security in her own home that she didn't think anyone else's could provide. Still, she trusted him and the past week had only strengthened that trust. Fitz never tried to kiss her, never did anything she wasn't prepared for. Her thoughts were interrupted when a large, gentle hand met her thigh.

"It's okay if you have other plans, Liv."

"No.", she breathed, covering his hand with her own. "I'd love to see where you live."

Fitz breathed a sigh of relief and pulled his car out of the company parking lot. They filled the ride with chatter about their workday. The entire time, Olivia's fingers stroked his hand absentmindedly. He'd never removed it from her thigh.

The moment Olivia stepped through his door and into is apartment she noticed that it looked much like his office. It was beautiful and stylish and everything she would have expected from him just a week ago. Now that she was getting to know the real man hidden underneath the surface, however, Olivia realized that he kept things neutral – almost clinical – even in his own home. She'd hoped to learn more about him here, but when his apartment turned out to look like more of a hotel room than an actual home, Olivia understood just how rare it must have been for Fitz to share himself with anyone as much as he'd shared himself with her.

They cooked together, neither one of them especially good at creating a fancy meal. They enjoyed the process, though, and they both knew it was because it gave them the chance to spend time together. The food was too salty and slightly overcooked, but neither Olivia nor Fitz cared too much about that. Once they had finished, he led her to the couch.

"You know, other than my dad, you are the only man that's ever cooked for me."

The statement startled Fitz, mainly because it was probably the most personal thing she'd ever allowed him to know.

"You mean those college boys don't cook for the ladies?", Fitz teased.

If he was being completely truthful, Fitz didn't want to know about the guys that must swarm a girl as beautiful as Olivia. Then again, he'd never asked her about her dating life; he'd simply assumed that she was available when he'd kissed her that night on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

"Not for me they don't.", she mumbled, and he almost missed it.

Fitz couldn't quite interpret her words. She didn't really sound sad or disappointed. She sounded hurt. Scooting closer to her, Fitz wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her body into his. This was the closest they had been since their kiss, and for a moment, Olivia froze. Then she reminded herself how safe she'd felt that day in his arms, so she let her head drop to his shoulder. Fitz adjusted their bodies until Olivia's head had slipped to rest against his chest. He was so solid and strong, yet unbelievable comfortable.

"Those boys don't know anything about how to treat a woman, Liv.", he whispered against her ear. "They're young and stupid and they probably can't handle you. You're way too intelligent. They can't keep up with you."

She could feel his smile against her skin as he spoke, but she also heard the sincerity in his words. Olivia slid her hand up his stomach and to his chest, where she rested it above his heart. It beat strongly and rhythmically, and it was the most soothing thing she could ever remember hearing or feeling.

"You are beautiful and so smart, and you deserve to be treated like the amazing girl that you are.", Fitz continued. "Don't ever let anyone tell you different."

His words hit her like a ton of bricks and Olivia could feel tears gather in her eyes. Once upon a time, she had been confident, but now she only pretended to be. She knew that she was good at it, that people couldn't see that behind the wall she had built lived a scared, humiliated, lonely girl. The tears didn't fall, because Olivia knew that once she'd start crying in Fitz' arms, she wouldn't be able to stop. His fingers were running through her hair and every now and then he'd massage her scalp gently. After a while, Olivia lifted her head to look at him, hoping her smile would help him understand how thankful she was for his words and his presence in her life.

"I'd like to kiss you again.", Fitz whispered, and although it was a statement, it sounded like a hesitant question.

Olivia couldn't believe he was actually asking; that she could say 'no' and be sure he'd accept that. She didn't say anything, though, because she had waited for a second kiss from the moment the first one had ended.

With a relieved smile, Fitz leaned it. The touch of lips was gentle at first, much like the first time. Olivia's lips were full and soft, and he loved the way they seemed to fit his perfectly. His hand slipped up her neck to cup her face in his large palm. She felt his mouth open slightly, the tip of his tongue trailing along her bottom lip. Olivia hesitated for a moment, because she had never kissed anyone like that. Finally, she opened her mouth to his. As soon as her tongue met his, Olivia understood the fascination behind kissing. The sensation of feeling Fitz in such an intimate way was almost overwhelming. She moaned quietly, sliding her hand around his neck and into the curly hair on the back of his head. Her toes curled, and she opened her mouth wider, allowing Fitz to kiss her more deeply.

The pair kissed for a long time. Fitz loved the way Olivia seemed to become more comfortable with every stroke of his tongue. She kissed him in a way that made him believe she inexperienced, but so passionate that it made up for her lack of practice. The thought that he may be one of the first – if not _the_ first – men to kiss her like that, thrilled him. Fitz slid his hand down her side until it rested low on her back. Slowly, he dipped Olivia's body until she was lying on the couch, his body hovering above her much smaller one.

Breaking away from her luscious lips, Fitz took a quick breath before kissing her chin. The brief moment of separation caused Olivia to open her eyes. The sight of his body covering hers was enough to panic her. Olivia's hands suddenly pressed against his chest, pushing him up with more force than he could have ever imagined coming from such a petite woman.

"No.", she breathed, her eyes wide with fear.

Fitz moved immediately, pushing himself up and away from her. He should have known. He should have known that she was young and inexperienced and not ready for him to push her like that. Olivia sat up, scooting to the end of the couch, as far from him as possible. She pulled her knees up against her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, closing herself into a cocoon. Her panicked eyes were closed tight now, and she was rocking back and forward as if in a trance.

"Olivia…", Fitz approached her, terrified. "Liv… I am so sorry."

When she didn't react, he continued.

"I thought you wanted… I didn't think… I'm _sorry_."

"It's my fault.", Olivia whispered. "It was my fault, Fitz."

"No.", he breathed, shocked. "God no, Liv. I shouldn't have pushed you."

He scooted closer carefully, afraid of scaring her even more. When she didn't seem to move away from him, Fitz placed a gentle hand on top of hers. It startled her, but she didn't pull away. Olivia's eyes were still closed, but he could see her tears begin to escape. He had never felt so utterly disgusted with himself.

"Tell me how I can make this better.", he pleaded, feeling like crying himself.

"It's my fault.", she repeated brokenly. "You didn't do anything wrong."

It sounded cliché and did nothing to make him feel better.

"I shouldn't have been out alone.", Olivia mumbled. "It's my fault."

"Olivia, what are you talking about?", Fitz asked, both confused and absolutely terrified of what her answer would be.

She finally looked up at him with eyes so full of pain that it almost broke his heart.

"I was raped."


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm sorry for the delay; I will try to keep up with updates again now. Thank you for the amazing feedback for the last chapter. Let me know what you think about this one!**

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Olivia had never said the words out loud. She had never admitted it to anyone, not even to herself. Now, her darkest secret was out; she'd shared it with a man she barely knew. He was looking at her – wide-eyed and pale, completely shocked. His hand had dropped from hers, and with that tiny, involuntary movement, Fitz had unknowingly confirmed all of her fears.

No man would ever want to touch her after this.

Her emotional pain was beginning to turn physical, and Olivia felt sick to her stomach. Her head was pounding and her heart was breaking in her chest. She couldn't breathe. With every sob she tried to catch her breath, but it wasn't working. Suddenly, two strong arms wrapped around her petite body and she was lifted into Fitz' lap. He cradled her like a small child, enclosing her entire being in his embrace. Olivia curled into his body, completely unaware of her surroundings and her actions – simply following her instinct to trust this man to keep her safe.

Fitz was rocking her gently, whispering nonsense into her ear in a futile attempt to calm her. Her tears were soaking his shirt, but it didn't matter. He'd hoped Olivia would let him hold her, because as much as he needed to help her, he also needed to feel her close to save his own heart from breaking completely. Small, delicate hands were grasping his shirt with a force that made Olivia's knuckles turn white. He had never witnessed a panic attack, but now Fitz was wondering if it was happening to Olivia at this moment.

"Shh.", he soothed desperately. "I need you to try and take a deep breath for me, Liv."

At first, Olivia didn't react. Fitz wasn't sure if she could even hear him, or if she had blocked out the world around her completely. He let her sob against his chest for a few more minutes before trying to get her attention again.

"Come on, beautiful. Breathe for me."

Finally, she seemed to hear him. Olivia tried to calm down, forcing herself to fill her lungs with air.

"That's good, Liv.", Fitz encouraged her. "One more time. I know you can do it."

She focused on his voice and on the steady up and down of his hand on her back. Slowly, her senses seemed to be returning to her. Olivia could taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips and feel their wetness on her face. She realized she was clinging to him, but she didn't make a move to leave his arms because she was convinced this would be the last time he'd ever hold her. The tears hadn't stopped and the pain didn't go away, but Olivia could finally breathe again.

"Can you look at me?", Fitz asked her with the most gentle voice.

No. Olivia did not want to look at him. Before _this_ she'd seen respect, appreciation, and even desire in his eyes. Now she was afraid all she'd see would be pity. She didn't move.

"Sweetheart, I need you to look at me so I know you're okay.", he tried again, desperate to look into her eyes again.

She didn't want to pull away, or move, or ever leave her spot in his arms. She didn't want to face reality. She didn't want to face him. She didn't want to be a victim of rape anymore. But Olivia knew that neither of those were an option for her, so she slowly lifted her heavy head from its spot on his Fitz' chest.

"There you are.", he smiled, even though he looked devastated.

Fitz moved one hand from her back and brought it to her face, using his thumb to wipe some of her tears away. He was so stunningly gentle that new tears began leaking from Olivia's eyes immediately. There was such a mix of emotions playing in his, but the one she couldn't find was pity. He didn't look disgusted with her, and it made it just a little bit easier to face him. Olivia braced herself for his questions, but for a long time they simply sat together – her grasping his shirt, him wiping her tears with the utmost care.

"Do you need anything?", he spoke up after a while. "A glass of water maybe?"

Olivia shook her head, because she didn't think she'd be able to keep it down. Regretfully, she slit off his lap, but remained close to him. She pulled her legs up and under her so her knees were touching Fitz' thigh. If Olivia was going to talk, she needed to separate herself from him without losing contact completely. He hadn't asked her to answer any of the many questions he had, because Fitz felt that it had to be up to her whether or not she was willing to share the details of her ordeal with him. But he hoped Olivia would feel comfortable enough around him to allow him in. Her bottom lip was quivering, and she had taken to picking at her nails so vigorously that the skin around them was beginning to bleed. Fitz reached out and slipped his hands around hers, stopping her from hurting herself but also anchoring her to the present rather than letting her mind get lost in the past.

"I was 19.", Olivia whispered, and Fitz held her hands a little tighter. "I never really went out much, but my roommate at the time was a bit of a party girl. There is this bar, like 15 minutes from campus, where nobody really cares about checking IDs, so I guess that's where everyone always met on Friday nights. I don't know why I let her convince me to go; I didn't even really want to be there."

She stopped and glanced at him from beneath her eyelashes. Fitz was still looking at her; he hadn't run off yet.

"It was loud and smelly and I hated it. So I left before anyone else was ready to go. It was so close to my dorm… I… I would have made it there in no time."

Fitz knew what was coming, and he could see that Olivia was returning to that day and that moment in her mind. Her eyes seemed distant, and he wondered if she was picturing her nightmare. A squeeze of his hand brought her back to him.

"I almost made it.", she breathed. "I could already see the dorms. I didn't even see him coming. He was just… there… suddenly, out of nowhere. And I just… I knew he was going to hurt me."

Her tears were falling faster again now, and Fitz wanted nothing more to take some of her pain away.

"He held a gun to my head and dragged me between the bushes and trees at the campus entrance. He just… ripped my skirt… and it hurt… everything hurt so much and I'd never… I wasn't…"

"I know, I know.", Fitz soothed her, saving her from actually having to say the words. "I understand, sweetheart."

Olivia didn't have to tell him what that bastard had done to her; he knew. He knew that he had taken her innocence away from her in the most gruesome way. His anger was threatening to overwhelm him, and Fitz needed to remind himself that he couldn't express his feelings right now – that he needed to be a strong, calm presence for Olivia.

"When he was done he just… got up and left me there. He told me that he'd come find me if I ever told anyone about this. And I know I should have done the right thing… I know I should have gone to the emergency room or the police or even campus security, but I just went to my dorm and I showered over and over again for hours until my skin was raw from the hot water. And I know that was wrong, I know I only made everything worse… I was such a coward."

"Olivia…", Fitz interrupted her. "Livy…"

Nobody had called her that since she'd been five years old and her daddy's pride and joy, and hearing Fitz say it now made her cry even more. He was such a wonderful man – everything she could have ever dreamt of – but he was unavailable to her, because no one would ever want to look at her, touch her, _love_ her now. The monster that had taken her innocence and her faith in men three years ago was not done torturing her. He'd taken her self-worth; he'd taken her heart and crumbled it.

"You did the right thing.", Fitz said, causing Olivia's head to snap up. "Maybe it wasn't the best choice from a legal or medical perspective, but at the time, it was the best choice for _you_ – and that's all that matters. You did the right thing, Liv."

"I've never told anyone, Fitz.", she whispered. "Nobody knows this ever even happened. I should have brought him to justice. It should have been me."

"We can still do that now, if that's what you want. We'll find him."

"He's dead."

"What?", Fitz stammered, shocked.

"Three months after… after he attacked me, there was a brief mention of a fatal car crash on the local news. They said four young guys got killed when their car flipped over and into a field. They'd all been drunk. His name was Michael – they showed his picture along with the others and I knew. I just _knew _it was him. I recognized those… those cold eyes that stared at me that night."

"He deserved it.", Fitz mumbled, but Olivia heard him anyway.

"He's dead, Fitz.", Olivia stated brokenly. "He paid the ultimate price. But I still see him behind every corner. He's every shadow, every cruel nightmare. I fight him off over and over again, every day. He's dead, but he's still everywhere."

Carefully, Fitz pulled her back into his arms, no longer willing to be separated from her. Stunned, Olivia watched as he leaned in and placed the most gentle of kisses against her lips.

"You don't have to fight him off alone anymore, Livy. I will be here for you from now on, and we will fight him together."


	10. Chapter 10

**The support for this story is overwhelming! Thank you.**

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She was in his arms again, tucked away in the one spot that made her feel safe. His heart beat strong and steady beneath her ear, and it was quickly becoming her favorite sound. Hours of tears had tried on Olivia's face and Fitz' shirt, and her eyes hurt from crying so much. She was calm now, completely drained and exhausted. Somewhere, in the back of her clouded mind, Olivia realized that he'd pulled her legs across his lap and that one of his hands was still stroking her back. The other one was entwined with her own, large fingers caressing her tiny ones absentmindedly. They hadn't spoken in hours, but so much was being said.

There were things she would have to think about soon, like the fact that Fitz was nearly 15 years older than her – and her boss. Or the undeniable truth that within mere months, she would be moving again, putting hundreds of miles between them. Or maybe the question whether there even was a 'them' that she needed to consider. He was caring, sweet, and incredibly supportive, but Olivia still didn't believe he would want to continue what they'd barely started after her revelation. Right now, however, she didn't want to think about anything but his scent and the feeling of warmth he created in her chilled body.

At first, she couldn't figure out what it was that had brought her out of her deep thoughts, but then Olivia realized that Fitz was humming against her ear. She didn't recognize the song, but it still seemed familiar. When the soft melody came to an end, Fitz gently kissed the spot just below her ear, before nuzzling her neck lovingly. Olivia shivered, wondering if this was what it felt like to be loved. She dismissed the thought quickly, terrified by where her mind was taking her.

"It's late.". Fitz whispered against the sensitive skin of her neck. "You should get some rest, Liv."

She knew he was right, and she truly was exhausted, but she didn't want to move from his arms only to return to her empty apartment. Despite her inner struggle, Olivia sat up and smiled at him weakly. She expected him to offer calling a taxi or driving her home himself, but the words that actually came out of his mouth surprised her.

"There is a small guest bedroom just across the hallway from my bedroom. I'd like you to stay."

Her eyes were wide when she looked at him in surprise.

"Fitz…"

"I don't want you to be alone. Not tonight."

Fitz didn't offer her any more to explain himself, but she didn't need to hear more. He'd said so much with those few words, and Olivia simply nodded her head, accepting his offer. Together, they walked down the short hallway. She lingered in the doorway of his bedroom, watching him as he retrieved one of his t-shirts and a pair of shorts for her to wear to bed. When she walked into the bathroom to get changed, Fitz observed her quietly. Her shoulders were slumped and she looked sad and defeated. It broke his heart, knowing that no matter what he would say to her, Olivia would always feel like she'd never be good enough after what had happened to her.

He was still standing in the guest bedroom when she emerged, dressed in his shirt and shorts – both much too big on her small frame. Olivia bit her lip and crawled under the covers that he had pulled back for her. She could feel his gaze on her, and she knew he was unsure of what to do.

"Thank you, Fitz.", she finally whispered.

Without a reply, he walked over to the bed and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight, Livy."

When he left her room, she noticed how he didn't close the door completely, and the small gesture meant the world to her.

Two o'clock had come and gone and Fitz was still wide awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the events of the previous day. His heart ached for Olivia, but he knew that she was strong and that she would be able to overcome her demons. He wanted to help her, to be there for her whenever she needed him, and he hoped more than anything that she would let him. Fitz' thoughts were interrupted by a quiet noise coming from somewhere outside of his bedroom. At first, he couldn't quite identify it, but then he realized it was the quiet sound of crying. He jumped out of bed in a panic, nearly running out of his room and into the guest bedroom where Olivia was lying in bed, curled into herself. Her body was shaking from the effort it was taking her to suppress her sobs.

"Liv…", he breathed, kneeling down in front of the bed.

"I'm sorry.", Olivia cried. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Don't worry about it.", Fitz soothed, placing a hand against her cheek. "I couldn't sleep anyway."

"I had a nightmare.", she admitted, and it was all the explanation he needed.

Later he would wonder what had made him decide to do this, but in that moment he wanted nothing more than to be her rock. Fitz pushed himself off the floor and walked around the bed. He lifted the covers and joined Olivia, who stiffened slightly next to him. She had calmed down considerably already, his presence enough to soothe her, but he knew that her nightmare was still fresh in her mind. He had scooted as close as possible without actually touching her, and he remained on his back with his arms firmly planted by his sides.

Olivia couldn't believe that he was there, in bed with her. She had never shared a bed with a man before, and up until now, she had assumed just the presence of a large, masculine body so close by would intimidate her. It was always different with Fitz, though, and Olivia was beginning to understand that. In the silence of the bedroom she could hear his hand sliding across the fabric of the sheets beneath them, so his touch didn't startle her when he finally reached her. Cautiously, the tip of his index finger met her lower back, drawing invisible patterns against the shirt Olivia was wearing. She let him do this for a minute, before reaching behind her to catch his hand in hers. Hesitantly, Olivia pulled his hand up and across her waist, knowing Fitz wouldn't need words to understand her intentions. He rolled on his side and let her pull him until he was spooning her. Olivia's tense body finally relaxed.

"Fitz?", she asked in a hushed voice. "Will anyone ever want to look at me after what happened to me?"

He didn't answer right away, and it scared her.

"Do you know…", he finally began. "… that you have the most expressive, beautiful eyes I've ever seen? Even when they look sad, they are stunning. When you are deep in thought, your brows furrow and the tiniest wrinkles form along your forehead. Sometimes, when you're confused or not pleased with something, you wrinkle your nose, and when you are embarrassed or nervous you bite your lip. You have such perfect lips – full and soft."

Olivia's eyes were wide as she listened to his words.

"When you wear your hair straight you don't touch it, but when it's framing your face in soft curls you sometimes twist it around your fingers while you are reading files or emails. That's my favorite.", he admitted. "When your hair is up, I can see your long neck and sometimes I catch myself wondering if you would enjoy being kissed there. You always smell so good, like coconut. Your skin glows and it is so unbelievably soft and beautiful. _You_ are so beautiful."

Fitz stopped to gather his thoughts.

"I look at you, Olivia. I _see_ you. I will never push you, never do anything you aren't ready for, but someday – if I am so lucky – I would like to be the man that gets to look at _all_ of you, physically and emotionally. I'll always want to look at you."

He had managed to stun her into silence, and Olivia was completely at loss about how she could ever possibly reply to his words. Nobody had ever been able to read her like he could, because she had never let anyone in before. Maybe it should have scared her, but she wasn't afraid.

"I do enjoy it.", Olivia mumbled into her pillow – the most unlikely answer to his admission. "When you kissed my neck today, I enjoyed it."

A smile grew on his lips and she felt it when he pressed them to the skin of her neck playfully. Fitz kissed her there once – a brief reminder of what they could, and hopefully would, have. Her body was pulled even closer to his, until there was no space between them. They lay like this for a while, and although the room was completely quiet, Olivia knew he wasn't asleep yet.

"Thank you, Fitz, for everything you did today. I will never be able to repay you."

"You already did, Liv. That day you let me talk about my daughter… it meant the world to me.", Fitz said. "Things happened to us… terrible things that still hurt us and always will. But for the first time in my life, I feel like I am not fighting this uphill battle alone, because of you. And I hope that maybe, I make you feel the same way."

Olivia didn't reply, but simply squeezed the hand that was holding her body tightly to his.

"Don't let me go, okay?"

"Never."

The implications of her question and his answer were life altering for both of them, but neither chose to dwell on it for the moment. Finally, they were both able to drift off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**I have decided to change the rating for this story to ****M**** ... just in case. Thank you for the lovely reviews!**

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He woke up when the warm sunlight began to heat up his body under the covers. It took him a moment to figure out where he was, but then something tickled his nose, waking him fully. Fitz opened his eyes and smiled. Olivia had turned over in her sleep, her face now tucked into his chest. Her arm was wrapped around his body as if she was hugging him to her, and her hair was sprawled out against his neck and face. She smelled faintly of coconut shampoo and something else that was uniquely her. At first, Fitz couldn't quite comprehend what it was that made him feel like his heart was swelling in his chest. Then he realized what he was feeling.

_Happiness. _

He was happy. Happy that Olivia was here with him, that she hadn't left last night. Happy that she let him hold her and that she trusted him enough to share a bed.

Sleep hadn't come easy in a long, long time, but when Fitz' eyes traveled to the bedside clock he realized that they'd slept all night and through the early morning hours that he usually spent getting ready for work. It was nearly ten in the morning, and the sun was already bright. On any other Saturday, he'd have gone to work, but today he didn't even feel like leaving the bed. Olivia stirred in his arms. He looked down at her in time to catch the moment when she first opened her eyes. She was a mess of curly hair and sleepy eyes, and it was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen.

"Hi.", she mumbled.

"Hi.", he replied, and her entire face lit up with a genuine smile.

For a moment, Fitz studied her, trying to decide whether he should kiss her or not. Her revelation had made him more cautious, but at the same time he didn't want Olivia to feel like he was distancing himself from her. But she was smiling, that beautiful smile that made her eyes twinkle a little, and her fingers were absentmindedly tracing the skin of his neck. He couldn't not kiss her.

Leaning in, Fitz watched Olivia's eyes close before their lips even touched. When they finally did, it was heaven. After a few minutes of tender, sweet kissing, Olivia opened her mouth to his, taking their intimacy to the same level that had terrified her just the night before. It was different now, tough, with him wrapped around her body. Now, he knew all of her secrets. Now, she didn't have to be afraid because she knew that all she'd have to say was 'no' and they'd go back to simply snuggling together under the covers. But saying 'no' never even crossed Olivia's mind. Fitz' tongue was caressing her own and it felt good – so _good_ to learn how to kiss in the arms of this man.

Somewhere in the back of her mind Olivia was aware of his finger playing along the hem of the shirt she was wearing. He'd pushed it up slightly, to where her oversized shorts rested low on her hips, but he never touched any skin. Olivia was torn. She wanted to feel his large, gentle hands touch her skin. She wanted to know if it would feel just as good as when he would caress her face or her neck, but Olivia was nervous. She didn't know what it would take to spook her, and she was afraid of finding out.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Fitz' mouth left hers, kissing down her jaw and to her neck sensually. She liked this. She loved the way he caressed her neck with just his lips, showing her things she never even knew she would enjoy. He found a spot just below her ear and sucked on it lightly, before soothing the spot with his tongue. A tiny moan escaped her lips, and Olivia felt his hand tighten on her waist.

"Fitz…", she breathed, lost in his kiss.

The tip of his finger sneaked under her shirt, meeting soft, beautiful skin. Fitz didn't move it, simply resting it there and allowing Olivia to get used to it. She stroked her fingers through his curly hair and pulled gently, bringing his head up so she could look him in the eyes.

"It's okay.", she whispered, and although she was smiling he could hear the slight hesitation in her voice.

His eyes didn't leave hers when he slowly pushed a hand under her shirt, resting it against the skin of her flat belly. Fitz smiled at her encouragingly and she relaxed a little. He watched her intently as his hand began to explore her skin. She was so soft, so perfectly smooth and Fitz couldn't remember ever feeling skin so perfect. He watched her face, making sure she was okay with his touch. Olivia's eyes were hooded and she was biting her bottom lip in that special way that made him want to kiss her senseless.

Her skin was on fire wherever Fitz touched. Olivia couldn't believe how much she enjoyed his touch, despite the underlying nervousness that she couldn't shake off quite yet. His palms were large and his fingers long and strong, but he still managed to glide them across her skin in the most gentle of ways. The touch was barely there, yet she could feel it all through her body. Olivia wondered if she should return his intimate touches; if she could make him feel this good too. She lifted one hand and brought it to his face, tracing his gorgeous, masculine features with her fingertips. He looked so content, so happy, that it made her smile.

"You feel good.", Fitz whispered.

"You make me feel good.", Olivia returned shyly.

Fitz leaned down and kissed her neck again, then moved lower, finding a spot just below her collarbone. He kissed Olivia there, her t-shirt separating his lips from her skin. Slowly, his hand moved higher, and Fitz expected to come into contact with the material of her bra. Suddenly, his thumb met the swell of her bare breast and he quickly pulled his hand away, terrified of taking things too far, too fast. Olivia hadn't worn a bra to bed, because she never did, and she hadn't expected the morning to turn out this way. At first, she couldn't decide what to do. Finally, Olivia let her heart make the choice, and she nodded her head softly, hoping Fitz would understand.

"Are you sure?"

She loved that he was so caring, such a gentleman. It made her feel more secure in her decision to trust him.

"Yes.", she breathed.

His hand moved higher, until his fingertips were caressing the underside of her breast. He didn't think it was possible, but the skin there was even softer. Her chest was rising rapidly with every breath she took and Fitz could feel her heart race beneath his hand. Olivia had closed her eyes tightly, anticipating his every move. But still, her breath caught a little with every new, untouched piece of skin that he reached. She hadn't thought that she would ever be able to enjoy being touched like this. His large hands were making her feel small, but she didn't mind this time. For the first time, Olivia didn't think that it was a problem to be so much smaller than the man she was being intimate with. His size didn't intimidate her – it made her feel protected.

A single finger found her nipple and Fitz caressed it with the utmost care. Last time, this had hurt so much – everything had hurt so much. But this time, before she could even think about it, Olivia was moaning quietly, her chest rising to meet his hands. Her reaction encouraged Fitz, and he stroked her breasts more confidently. Olivia could feel her nipples tighten. A fire was burning low in her belly, and although the feeling was unfamiliar, she craved it, wanted more of it.

His lips were at her neck again, hot breath bouncing off her skin. Olivia pushed her hand in his hair, reveling in the soft, silky curls that she had come to love so much. He was whispering to her, but through the cloud of her arousal she couldn't make out his words until she concentrated on them.

"You are so perfect.", he mumbled against her skin. "You are so perfect, Livy."

Words were bubbling up inside of her, threatening to escape her lips. Words that she couldn't say – not yet, maybe never. She was overwhelmed by her feelings for him, by how much she trusted someone she hadn't even known mere weeks ago. The need to kiss him again was all-consuming, so she pulled his face to hers, kissing him with more passion and confidence than either of them had thought possible.

He didn't know it, but Fitz had the power to crush her. She wasn't afraid of him physically, because she knew that just the thought of hurting her would kill him. But he could easily crush her heart. Olivia wanted to pretend that she was strong, that the walls she'd built around her heart were still intact. That wasn't the case, though. Fitz had broken them down, piece after painful piece, and now her heart was completely bared to him.

Olivia couldn't get close enough to him, couldn't stop kissing him. He was consuming her, in the sweetest way possible, and she thought her heart might burst. Fitz broke the kiss, staring at her with wide eyes. He couldn't remember ever being kissed quite like that, and he hadn't expected it from Olivia. His eyes were dark and beautiful, and he was looking at her in a way that she couldn't even begin to describe. In that moment, Olivia realized that it was too late to protect herself from the possibility of getting hurt somewhere down the road.

She had already fallen in love with Fitzgerald Grant.

He smiled then, a smile that she hadn't seen in his normally sad eyes before, almost as if he knew what she had only just discovered herself.

"Spend the weekend with me, Livy. Stay here with me."


	12. Chapter 12

**Here's the next chapter! I hope it doesn't disappoint.**

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Her breath left her in form of a nervous giggle. He seemed so relaxed, with his easy smile and glimmering eyes, and Olivia wondered how he could be like that, when her insides were twisting and turning from nervousness. Inwardly, Fitz was nervous too. He didn't want to pressure her, but he also didn't want her to say 'no'. There were so many reasons why he wanted Olivia to stay, and he realized that while her bare skin felt nothing short of perfect, he would have been just as happy if they'd simply sat next to each other all weekend.

"I don't even have anything to wear, Fitz.", Olivia finally replied in a halfhearted attempt to be rational.

"I'll take you home. You can get everything you need and then we'll come back here. I'll show you around in Georgetown; we can go have dinner tonight. Or we could stay in, watch a movie."

He was rambling now, trying to list all the reasons that might convince her to stay, when really all Olivia needed was him and his sweet affection.

"What about work?", she tried.

"Screw work.", Fitz grinned, almost childishly.

This time, Olivia laughed. It was a laugh that took his breath away, full and honest, with her head thrown back and her whole face lighting up.

"What's happened to you, Mr. Grant? No work on a Saturday?", Olivia giggled.

"Well, there is this girl… and she's distracting me."

Olivia's laughter turned into a coy smile, and although she didn't want to admit it, she felt a sense of pride that she was able to distract this confident, accomplished man who could probably have any woman he'd ever want. Yet here he was, holding _her_ and asking _her_ to stay.

"Okay.", Olivia finally agreed and his answering smile made her heart skip a beat.

Fitz kissed her lips gently, running a hand under her shirt and up and down her back.

"I'm glad.", he whispered against her lips. "Stay in bed for a little longer. I'll use the bathroom real quick and then I'll make us some breakfast, okay?"

She nodded lazily, allowing herself to indulge in a work- and stress-free weekend. Fitz moved away from her and out of the bed, and although it wasn't cold by any means, she immediately missed the warmth his body always provided. Before he walked out of the bedroom door, Fitz turned to Olivia with a playful smile.

"Don't put that bra back on."

Her mouth fell open and she blushed in embarrassment. But Fitz was wiggling his eyebrows at her goofily, leaving her alone with a final glance and a wink. When she was alone, Olivia grinned.

The couple spent their afternoon together, packing Olivia's things and stopping for a quick lunch at a small bistro they noticed on the way back to Fitz' apartment. It was warm out, but clouds were beginning to form on the blue sky and they were expecting rain and thunderstorms later in the day. When they returned to Fitz' home, they left Olivia's bag in the car and walked the Georgetown streets for a while, enjoying the nice weather before they'd have to go inside. He was holding her hand, their fingers firmly linked as if it had always been that way. When the first rumble of thunder could be heard far away, Fitz took Olivia back to his home.

With the rain falling consistently outside, and lightening lighting up the sky every so often, the two sat together on Fitz' living room floor. Chinese take-out was spread out on the coffee table in front of them, boxes and bags full of tasty goodies that could have fed a small army. Olivia was stuffed, completely full after indulging in too many delicious bites of numerous dishes. She was holding her belly and Fitz was laughing at her, wondering where this tiny woman had put all that food.

"You need to eat your fortune cookie.", he told her.

"Ugh… okay… I can still fit that somewhere."

She reached for one and tossed him the second one before falling back against the couch. Fitz marveled at how comfortable she looked in that moment – like she'd always been here, and like his apartment had never been the empty, lonely place he dreaded coming home to.

"Read me your fortune.", Olivia said when he had eaten his cookie.

"_Your handsomeness will bring a beautiful girl into your life_.", Fitz read, looking at her with a straight face.

Olivia watched the corners of his mouth twitch, and she giggled. She loved that silly side of him, the carefree happiness that made him look so much younger than he really was.

"And what does it really say?", Olivia asked, poking his side playfully.

"_You will have unexpected great good luck_."

She still looked at him skeptically, so Fitz handed her the tiny strip of paper that held his fortune. Olivia read the short sentence, then handed it back to him.

"I wonder when that'll happen.", she replied cheekily.

His smile was warm and beautiful, and Olivia felt herself blush under his gaze immediately.

"I think it already did.", Fitz smiled, before kissing her flushed cheek quickly. "What does yours say?"

Olivia broke the crunchy cookie in half and pulled out the paper. Unfolding it, she hesitated a moment at the sight of the words. When Fitz nudged her questioningly, she read the fortune out loud.

"_Never underestimate the power of the human touch_."

They both allowed the words to sink in, each of them considering their meaning in Olivia's life. Human touch could be experienced in such different ways and it could have such an incredible power over those receiving it. Olivia had been forced to feel human touch in its darkest, most hurtful way, and she knew what kind of all-consuming, numbing power it could have. Now, however, she was finally beginning to understand that it didn't have to be that way, that she wasn't destined to never experience its beauty and positive power.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Fitz staring at her, trying to understand what she was feeling. He knew they'd both been thinking the same thing after Olivia had read them her fortune. But he hoped she wasn't just thinking about her ordeal, and how that man's touch had caused her so many emotional scars. Fitz wanted her to remember his touch and how it had made her feel this morning. He wanted her to remember the soft caresses and loving strokes, because it was all he'd been able to think of ever since.

"Human touch really is powerful, Liv, but don't give that monster any more power. He's not worth even thinking about."

"His touch broke me.", she admitted, and he hated it. "But I think… I think yours is putting me back together."

Fitz scooted closer to her and took the cookie from her hands. He placed it back on the table and then turned to face her. With slow, delicate touches he caressed her arms, starting at the tips of her fingers and working his way up to her shoulders. Fitz kissed her palm, her wrist, then the bend of her arm. He pushed the short sleeve of her shirt up far enough to expose her upper arm and shoulder and planted a few soft kisses there too. Skipping the inch of skin between her shoulder and neck that was still covered by fabric, he moved up to nuzzle her neck affectionately.

"Remember you can always say 'no' and I will always be okay with it.", Fitz whispered. "But I would like to take you to bed now, even though it's still early. I'd like to take you to _my_ bed."

The idea of sharing a bed with him again didn't scare Olivia, but there was still something different about following him to his bed, when they'd only shared the guest bed before. Nevertheless, she got up and held out her hand to him. Together, they entered his bedroom. It wasn't very late, but the storm had darkened the sky considerably and the room was lit by only the light shining in from the hallway. Olivia stood, almost awkwardly, in the middle of the room, worrying her lip between her teeth. He watched her for just a moment, before joining her and kissing her again.

Soon, she was returning his kisses passionately, her tongue exploring his mouth with every stroke. His large hands were on her waist, and Olivia could feel him pushing up her shirt slightly. He was so tall and so strong, but she realized that she loved having to stand on her toes to kiss him like that.

"Livy…", he breathed when she caressed the bare skin that was peeking out of his button-down shirt. "Can I take off your shirt."

"Okay.", she replied immediately before she had a chance to think too much.

He had touched her bare breasts that morning, and although she was wearing a bra this time, it still made her nervous that he would be able to see her body now. Tantalizingly slowly, Fitz pushed the flimsy material of her blouse up her body, until it was time for her to help him get it off. Olivia lifted her arms and let him undress her. When she was shirtless, he gently pushed her backwards, until she was lying in the wrinkled sheets of his unmade bed. Fitz joined her there, placing himself next to her rather than on top, always mindful of her fears and apprehensions.

"You look beautiful.", he smiled when she adjusted her bra straps self-consciously.

"Could you…", she began, but stopped, embarrassed.

"Yeah?"

"Could you maybe… take your shirt off too?"

With a grin that Olivia returned bashfully, Fitz stripped himself of his shirt, throwing it across the room carelessly. He was gorgeous. His shoulders were broad and strong and his chest was well-defined. A fine dusting of hair covered his chest and stomach, and after a moment of hesitation, Olivia ran a curious hand along his skin. Small, beautiful hands explored his body, and Fitz couldn't remember anything that had ever felt so good. Olivia's touches were almost innocent, yet so arousing. Encouraged by her small smile, Fitz leaned in and finally kissed the skin he had longed to feel beneath his lips.

He kissed the valley between her breasts, toying with the lacy material of her cream-colored bra. Olivia's breath hitched. Fitz looked up at her with dark, beautiful eyes, watching in awe as she reached behind herself to undo the clasp of the garment. Finally, bare skin touched bare skin. He moaned quietly, her soft breasts falling easily into his searching hands. Fitz caressed her like he'd done that morning, but this time he added soft kisses and tantalizing nips to his ministrations. Then, his tongue touched one of her nipples, lazily drawing it into his mouth. Olivia's body stiffened, and Fitz froze in return.

"Don't stop.", she moaned.


	13. Chapter 13

**I love, love, LOVE your reviews. They make me so giddy and I really appreciate them so much. Thank you!**

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She was lost in the passion and love he was offering her, but Olivia realized that he had stopped despite her desperate plea for him to go on. So she opened her eyes, looking down at the man that was evoking unknown feelings within her. Fitz was staring at her with his expressive eyes, his chin resting on the skin between her breasts. She watched his face morph into a smile full of longing, and with his eyes still on hers, he kissed her breast again. Olivia pushed her hand through his unruly curls, running her nails lightly along his scalp as he kissed her. After a few sweet pecks on her skin, Fitz returned his attention to her nipples, using his lips and his tongue to bring her pleasure.

His heart was racing. To have Olivia trust him, to have her allow him to be intimate with her meant the world to him. He'd bedded his fair share of women in his early twenties, and he'd been married to a beautiful woman once, but nothing could compare to the feeling of touching Olivia. Pushing himself up slightly, Fitz watched his hand caress her breasts. Their skin tones did not match. His was pale while Olivia's was the softest, most beautiful mocha color. Yet, they seemed to complement each other, and he could not remember ever seeing anything that looked so right and so perfect. Every inch of her flawless skin seemed to glow.

"You're stunning.", he mumbled, voicing his thoughts subconsciously.

Olivia's eyes found his and she was taken aback by the look of awe on his face. He made her feel beautiful and it was an incredible experience.

"Kiss me again.", she whispered, empowered by how much he seemed to adore her.

Fitz was happy to oblige, leaning down to kiss the smile on her lips. His hands continued to explore the curve of her waist and the smoothness of her belly while their tongues dueled feverishly. She was moving her hips, suddenly uncomfortable in the pants she was wearing. Clothes had always been her escape, her way of locking her body away from prying eyes or wandering hands. But now she wanted them off, so Fitz' hands could wander freely. He groaned quietly into her mouth when she pushed up against his erection, but Olivia didn't seem to notice. Breaking their kiss, Fitz looked at her questioningly.

"Would you be okay with me taking this off?", he asked, toying with the button of her pants carefully.

Again, she was surprised by how easily he could read her, how he always seemed to be in tune with her body.

"Yeah.", she smiled, bravely accepting the next step they would take together.

Fitz moved down the bed, and she waited with baited breath for him to undress her further. She felt disappointed when he stood up instead, but then his intentions suddenly made sense. He stripped himself of his jeans, hoping to make her more comfortable with her own nudity. Olivia bit her lip at the sight of him, but a smile was trying to escape. He was a handsome man. Without her mind's permission, her eyes wandered to the area that was covered by navy blue boxer briefs. The outline of an impressive erection was clearly visible and for the first time since they'd come to the bedroom, Olivia felt a pang of worry. But Fitz didn't let her dwell on it, joining her in bed once again and carefully undoing the buttons and zipper of her pants. He took them off and looked down at her with an appreciative sigh.

Olivia Pope was perfect.

He kissed her ankle and then slowly made his way up her right leg, leaving a trail of kisses up her body. When he reached her hip, Fitz nipped at the skin there playfully, making Olivia giggle. The tense seconds of worry were forgotten, and she squeezed his hand, wordlessly thanking him for always making her feel comfortable and at ease. Fitz moved to lie down next to her and pulled her in until they were both resting on their sides, facing each other. He trailed a hand down her bare back until he was grasping the soft flesh of her thigh. Slowly, he pulled Olivia's leg up and placed it across his hip. She felt him peck her lips quickly, but Olivia's entire being was nervously focused on their lower bodies.

"Look at me, Liv.", Fitz requested quietly.

Her hesitant gaze met his.

"It's just me, okay?", he smiled encouragingly. "We have all the time in the world and I promise I will not hurt you."

Olivia nodded her head, because she knew that. She knew he would be careful with her. But the physical pain of her last sexual encounter wasn't forgotten and she was nervous. Nervous that it would hurt again, despite his best intentions and that she wouldn't be able to pretend that she was okay. Olivia was nervous that she wouldn't be able to be perfect for him. Fitz' hand had begun exploring the curve of her butt, and she could feel his fingers through the thin, lacy material of her panties. Then he slipped a single finger beneath the fabric, teasing her skin lovingly.

"Can I take them off?". Fitz asked, always making sure she was ready to take things further.

"I don't know.", Olivia replied honestly.

She was torn between wanting to feel his hands everywhere and being afraid of going too far, too fast. Averting her eyes from his, Olivia bit her lip. She hated being so unsure and she wished she could be the confident lover she thought he deserved.

"Okay.", Fitz smiled, pushing a finger under her chin so she'd look at him again. "Liv, I get to hold you and touch you like this. You are _letting_ me hold you. It's already so much more than I could have ever wished for. We'll get there, okay? Please don't worry."

"I just… I don't want to get scared. I don't want to freak out and scare you away. You don't deserve that."

"You know what I don't deserve?", Fitz asked. "I don't deserve you. I'm a lonely, sad, damaged man and I don't deserve a beautiful, amazing girl like you. I don't deserve the way you look at me sometimes or how you kiss me. But here we are, together. So if you get scared and you freak out it's okay. Because I'm right with you, and we'll fix it together."

She had never seen him be so passionate before, and it nearly took her breath away. Olivia couldn't even begin to imagine how many lucky stars had to line up for this man to come into her life, but she was determined to make him see he deserved her and so much more.

"You can take them off.", Olivia replied, her voice stronger than she felt. "I want you to take them off. And if I get scared… we'll fix it, right?"

"Of course we will, Livy. You don't have to be scared of anything, ever again."

They kissed for a while and Olivia focused on how good it felt to be with him. When Fitz broke the kiss she rolled on her back, waiting for him to expose her completely. Gentle hands pulled her panties down her long legs, and suddenly she was completely naked in front of him. Fitz propped himself up on his elbow and let his hand explore her body. Her eyes were closed tightly when his fingers wandered to her hip and down her thigh, and Olivia's legs remained firmly closed.

"Look at me."

Olivia's eyes opened and she relaxed visibly as soon as they fell on Fitz' smiling face. She tried hard not to, but sometimes she couldn't stop her mind from going back to those dark places and the moments when a man's touch hadn't been loving and soft. As soon as she looked at Fitz, however, her focus shifted to the present and to him alone. Fitz had watched her get lost within herself several times now, and he tried his best to anchor her to him so she wouldn't be afraid.

They stared at each other and Olivia let her legs fall open, just far enough to receive his touch. With an encouraging smile, Fitz' hand moved between her thighs, cupping her sex carefully. She was wet and warm, and he felt relieved that she was aroused and willingly accepting his advances. His thumb began to draw lazy circles along her womanhood, and Olivia's breath left her in form of a long, deep moan.

"Fitz…", she groaned, completely overwhelmed.

She couldn't believe that it felt like this. His strong, large hand was touching her with feather-like strokes, and Olivia knew her wetness was beginning to coat his fingers. Her eyes threatened to drift close again, but Fitz wouldn't allow it. He made sure that she continued looking at him, because he needed to be aware of her emotions. A single finger moved down to her entrance, and Olivia felt her body stiffen at the implication.

"I will not hurt you, Livy.", Fitz whispered against her parted lips, before kissing her reassuringly.

He waited for her to relax again, before he slowly pushed a finger into her heat. She was tight and warm and Fitz couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like to finally become one with her. Olivia's mind was racing, her thoughts swirling around in a frenzied pace when Fitz' finger invaded her body. She expected pain even though he had promised her that there would be none, but she truly couldn't feel any. The sensation was odd at first – foreign and scary – but then he began to gently move his finger within her and Olivia was lost. Her eyes closed involuntarily, and this time Fitz didn't mind. He nuzzled her neck and whispered into her ear as he slowly added a second finger to bring her pleasure. After a few long, deep strokes, Olivia's hips lifted off the bed slightly, meeting his hand.

"Just like that, Livy.", he whispered, his body on fire in the wake of her passionate response to his touch.

Soon, Olivia was moving her hips in sync with Fitz' fingers, lifting them every time he pushed into her. His thumb found her clit and she was lost, knowledgeable about what was happening to her body, but completely unaware that she would ever be capable of feeling these things. Two talented fingers were stretching her, but it didn't hurt and she wanted more; wanted to reach the goal her body seemed to be searching for. Olivia was faintly aware that she was holding on to him with a tight grasp, and that he was breathing heavily against her neck, so she turned her head and found his lips, kissing him almost forcefully. Fitz broke the kiss after a few seconds and bit her bottom lip gently.

"Let go, Livy."

And she did, falling apart in his arms. Fitz could feel her muscles contract around his fingers and he didn't think he had ever been so aroused in his life. She moaned, over and over again, almost desperate in her pleas for him to keep going. He obliged, stroking and caressing her through her orgasm until the tremors subsided and Olivia fell back against the sheets exhaustedly. Still breathless, she opened her eyes, staring at him in wonder.

Her hair was a mess of curls and her bangs were sticking to her sweaty forehead. Those gorgeous lips that he loved to kiss were swollen and red, and her eyes were glimmering brightly in the nearly dark bedroom. For a moment she looked bashful, and Fitz was afraid that she might feel ashamed, but then her face lit up with the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen. A breathless giggle bubbled up from within her and in that moment he was sure.

He was completely and utterly in love with Olivia Pope.


	14. Chapter 14

**This story is so dear to my heart that all the sweet reviews really mean a lot to me. Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

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He was making scrambled eggs and bacon in his underwear when Olivia entered the kitchen the next morning. His foot was tapping along to the quiet music that was playing on the radio and every now and then he'd bop his head to the beat. Olivia suppressed a giggle and snuck up behind him. When she reached Fitz, she wrapped her arms around his body and kissed him between his shoulder blades.

"Good morning.", she mumbled against his skin.

He smelled like the sheets that she'd woken up in and she felt at home.

"Good morning, beautiful.", Fitz replied, turning in her arms.

Olivia was clad in one of his button down shirts, and he knew it was a sight he could easily get used to. They kissed tenderly – the kind of sweet good-morning-kiss that reminded both of the night they'd spent together. There had been no sex. They'd touched, and kissed, and he'd shown her how good it could feel to be with a man, but they'd never actually had sex. Thinking back now, Olivia realized she would have given in to him if he had asked. But he hadn't, and she was thankful for that. It had been an amazing night, and her breath still caught even now when she thought about it, but she was glad that they hadn't taken things further; that they had time to take the final step when she was truly ready for it.

They had breakfast together, and Olivia felt positively giddy. She hadn't been this happy and carefree in a long time, and her smile and laughter were absolutely infectious. Fitz couldn't stop looking at her and touching her. He'd squeeze her hand, caress her thigh, or place an affectionate hand low on her back. She never flinched, and that made him happier than he'd thought possible.

"What are we doing today?", Olivia asked when they were clearing the breakfast table together.

"Well…", Fitz began and she knew immediately that he was hesitant. "I'd like to take you somewhere."

"Okay."

Fitz was taken aback by her willingness to simply go along with whatever his plan might be, without questioning him. He was relieved, because he didn't know if he would have been able to explain to her why he'd decided to do what he'd planned. They left the apartment together and drove for nearly an hour. Olivia was in awe of the beautiful neighborhoods they passed, and although the pair didn't speak much, it was a comfortable silence. Finally, Fitz pulled into what looked like a large driveway. It wound itself through a large park-like area and when they reached a massive gate, Olivia realized where he'd taken her.

Fitz parked the car alongside a handful of other vehicles, but didn't get out. He sighed, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. Olivia knew why they were here, because there was only one reason that made sense. Turning to him, she felt sadness wash over her. The carefree Fitz was gone, replaced by its sad, broken counterpart. She gently took his hands into hers and smiled at him understandingly.

"How long has it been since you've last come here?"

"A long time.", he admitted. "Months. I used to come once a week because I thought it would help, but it only made everything worse. Every time I left, I felt a little more empty than before. Every visit broke me just a little more."

"Why now?", Olivia asked.

"Because you're here now. Because I know no matter how empty I'll feel, you'll be here to make it easier.", Fitz said quietly. "And because I miss her."

She wanted to cry for him, but she knew that it wouldn't help him. It was her turn to be strong for him. So instead she leaned in and kissed him with all the love she felt for him. It was a kiss full of promises, full of understanding and support.

"Come on. Let's go see Caitlin."

Fitz led her along a path that brought them deeper into the cemetery. Olivia knew they were getting close when his grip on her hand became tighter, and his steps became slower. She read the gravestones of many people in passing, calculating in her head how long they'd been on this earth. Many had lived a long life, some head died young, but nobody had suffered Caitlin's fate. They finally stopped in front of a small grave, beautifully decorated by dozens of flowers. The gravestone was smaller than most of the other ones they'd passed, and the sight alone made Olivia tear up. A tiny angel had been engraved in the top corner and below it read:

Caitlin Elizabeth Grant

*6/30/2011 †6/30/2011

Forever in our Hearts

"Oh Fitz.", Olivia sighed, a tear making its way down her cheek.

She understood now why he'd wanted to come here today. His daughter had died exactly two years ago, and she couldn't believe he trusted her enough to bring her here on the anniversary of his baby's death. Olivia watched as Fitz let go of her hand and knelt down in front of the headstone of his daughter's grave. He absentmindedly trailed a finger across the engraved letters, tracing the baby's name slowly. Then he lowered his head as if he was going to pray, before his shoulders began to shake lightly.

Olivia hated to see him sad, but to see him cry nearly broke her heart. She stepped forward until she was right behind him, her knees touching his back. Then she placed her hands on his shoulders to offer him support. After a while Fitz straightened up and leaned against Olivia, his head resting against her stomach. Olivia held him against her and gently stroked her fingers through his curls, hoping to be able to calm him.

"I miss her so much.", Fitz admitted. "I never even had the chance to get to know her, but I miss her."

"I know you do, Fitz. I know."

"I wonder what color her eyes would have turned out to be, or what her cries would have sounded like. I wonder if she would have had Mellie's smile or mine. She'd be two years old today. I sometimes imagine her little voice calling me 'daddy'. I would have given her the world, Liv, but I never even had the chance to watch her take her first breath."

"You would have been a great daddy to Caitlin.", Olivia assured him with conviction, because she knew it was the truth.

He nodded his head, but Olivia wasn't sure if he was agreeing with her or if it was simply to acknowledge that he'd heard her. After a while, Fitz got up and wiped the dust off his jeans. Turning to look at Olivia, he could see that she'd been crying too. He stepped into her open arms and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you for bringing me here today.", Olivia whispered in his ear, before kissing his cheek.

"I wanted you here.", Fitz replied. "I needed you here."

With a last, longing look he stepped away from his daughter's grave.

"Happy birthday, my sweet baby girl. Daddy loves you."

Olivia held his hand all the way to the car. He felt sad and his heart was aching, but at the same time Fitz was relieved. He'd missed coming to the cemetery to visit his daughter's grave, but he also knew that he wouldn't have been able to do so without Olivia's support. For the first time in many months, Fitz felt like he could come here on a regular basis and be okay. The ride home was filled with quiet chatter, and although it was subdued, Olivia could feel Fitz slowly recover from the sadness he'd been experiencing.

When they arrived back at his apartment, Fitz joined Olivia on the couch, wordlessly agreeing that they would spend the day like this – simply in the presence of one another. They watched a movie that neither paid much attention to, but Fitz found comfort in the fact that Olivia was by his side, and that his sadness never seemed to scare her away. Instead, he felt even closer to her now. They cuddled and kissed, and Fitz let his mind wander to the future. He knew there'd be obstacles, because that was simply the way life worked, but he hoped that they would be able to work things out. He could no longer imagine his life without Olivia in it.

"Can you stay the night?", he finally asked her.

They had to work in the morning, and Fitz didn't know how she would feel about that.

"Do you think people will notice if we arrive together tomorrow morning?", Olivia asked, and he had to smile at how much their minds worked in sync.

"Everyone arrives around the same time, so I don't think anyone will care if we get off the elevator together. But it's up to you, Liv."

"I packed an outfit for the office.", she said, and he loved her sheepish smile. "I'd like to stay."

"Good.", Fitz sighed, surprised by how relieved he felt.

They fell into an easy routine at night, like they'd shared a living space for years, rather than just a couple of days. Life had taught him not to believe in perfection, but it was difficult not to do so when Olivia seemed to be his perfect match in every way possible. When he joined her in the bedroom, Olivia was already tucked under the covers, once again wearing one of his shirts. She smiled at him and placed the file she'd been reading on the nightstand, before pulling back the sheets so Fitz could join her in bed. Their sweet goodnight-kiss turned heated quickly, and before Fitz' mind had even registered what they were doing, Olivia was almost completely naked. He looked at her, wide-eyed and ready to apologize, but she was panting and kissing him again before he had the chance.

"I'm ready, Fitz. I trust you, and I am ready."


	15. Chapter 15

**It's taken me 15 chapters to get here, but I think this ****_might_**** be the chapter people have been waiting for. Thank you for your lovely support!**

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Fitz kissed the nervous smile off her lips as he pulled her panties down her legs, getting rid of her last piece of clothing. Then he stood and removed his own underwear. For the first time, they were both completely naked together.

"I haven't been this nervous since my first time.", Fitz admitted, and Olivia giggled.

"How old were you?"

"Seventeen. She was in my history class and we did it in the backseat of my dad's favorite car. I thought I was doing great, but I don't think she would agree."

His lopsided grin and his honesty made her love him even more. Olivia pulled Fitz closer to her until she could feel the heat radiating off of his skin. Their kisses were deep and passionate, and Fitz marveled at the fact that she kissed him like it had always been that way. Their tongues moved in sync and Olivia's lips were his perfect match. This time around, Fitz moved his hands with more confidence. Despite the fact that they were just beginning to learn each other's bodies, he knew what she liked and how he needed to touch her. Olivia, however, was still a bit hesitant.

Her hands would stroke up and down his back or caress his muscular chest and stomach, but she'd never allow them to move further than that. Fitz knew that she was still hesitant and nervous, but he wanted to encourage her to listen to her heart and act by what she felt was right. He grabbed her wandering hand and brought it up to his lips, first kissing each knuckle and then her palm.

"It's okay to touch me, Liv. You are not going to do anything wrong."

Then he placed her hand back on its previous spot on his stomach. Olivia was blushing prettily, and he loved it. There was something so endearing in her innocence and Fitz reveled in the fact that she was discovering herself in his arms. It was something he would never take for granted.

When her hand didn't move further, he decided to take the first step to help put her mind at ease. Fitz pushed his own hand between her legs, and this time they fell apart easily. She knew what to expect from his touch, but it was still so new and overwhelming. After a few gentle strokes and teasing caresses, Fitz pushed a finger into her. He moved even closer so he could pleasure her more deeply, and suddenly Olivia could feel his heavy erection resting against her thigh. He was large and she briefly wondered if she would be able to accommodate him, but those thoughts were forgotten when he hit a particularly sensitive spot inside of her.

"Fitz…", she moaned quietly. "It feels good."

"You always feel so amazing.", Fitz replied, because it was true.

His voice was deep and sensual and it changed something within her. With a deep, calming breath, Olivia reached down and carefully took his member into her hand. Fitz' breath hitched and his ministrations became uneven for a moment before he was able to collect his thoughts and return to focusing on Olivia's pleasure. It was difficult, though, with her small, delicate hand wrapped around his manhood. She stroked him once, twice, and a third time, before circling a thumb around the head.

"Baby…", he breathed. "So good…"

Olivia felt empowered. She was relieved to know that she was doing something right – that she was able to bring him pleasure too. Up until now, their intimacy had been rather one-sided, with all of his efforts focused on her alone. Now Olivia was finally able to return the favor, and she couldn't believe how good that felt. She gently raked her nails along the soft skin she found, and Fitz leaned down to bite her collarbone playfully. They moved their hands in sync, but every time she felt close to reaching her orgasm, Fitz would withdraw slightly. His teasing was the sweetest torture she'd ever experienced. After a while, he removed her hand from his almost painfully hard member.

"You need to stop or this is going to be over too soon.", Fitz mumbled and received a coy smile in return.

He pinned her arms down above her head carefully and entwined their fingers. Her flushed face and kiss-swollen lips were nearly enough to undo him, but Fitz knew to take things slow. Painstakingly slowly, he kissed an erotic trail down her chest and across her belly. Olivia knew where he was going and what he was aiming for, but she couldn't decide how she felt about it. It was new and it was scary.

"Fitz… you don't have to...", she finally said when he kissed the spot where her thigh met her hip.

"I want to.", he assured her with conviction. "… if you are okay with it."

She could only nod her head and give herself to him once again. When his mouth made its first contact with her wet womanhood, Olivia was completely lost. The feeling was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before, and she had not known that she was capable of feeling so completely aroused by a man. Fitz kissed and licked her with a gentle force, and before long she was writhing in the strong hold he had on her body, completely unable to control the way she was reacting. Pushing two of his fingers back into her, Fitz used his tongue to play with her clit. She was so wet now, and her sweet taste was beginning to drive him insane. Olivia's fingers had pushed themselves through his mess of curly hair, and she couldn't decide whether she wanted to push him away or pull him closer.

Suddenly her hips lifted off the bed, and she was pushed even closer to his searching mouth. For a moment everything seemed to stop and then she was falling, coming apart in his arms. Fitz kissed her through her orgasm and only moved from between her legs when Olivia's body relaxed exhaustedly. Her post-orgasmic glow was something he'd never quite get used to. She was simply stunning. When he kissed her, Olivia could taste herself on his lips. After a while, she finally opened her eyes only to find him staring down at her.

"Sweet baby.", he whispered, and she wanted to hear those words for the rest of her life.

She realized that his muscular body was looming over her, but she wasn't afraid anymore. He had fallen around her like a cocoon, and Olivia knew that she'd never been more safe and protected. In his arms, she readied herself to overcome the fear that had numbed her body every day for the past three years.

"You can still say 'no'.", Fitz whispered, although she could clearly see how much he needed to be with her. "You can always say 'no'."

"I don't want to say 'no'.", Olivia whispered into their kiss. "Not anymore. Not with you."

Fitz held her gaze as he lowered his hips until their lower bodies touched for the first time. Olivia bit her lip, and he knew that even though she was sure that she wanted this, she was still nervous. He moved his hips slowly, rubbing his hard member against her. A low moan escaped from somewhere deep in his throat, because it had been so long and she felt so indescribably fantastic. She let him do this for a few moments, slowly getting used to this new level of intimacy. Then she kissed him with a shaky smile.

"I'm ready."

He wanted nothing more than to take the lingering nervousness from her, but he knew that wouldn't be possible until they actually took the final step together. So he lined himself up with her entrance and slowly pushed forward, his eyes never leaving hers. At first, there was a slight feeling of pain, and Olivia nearly panicked. Before she had the chance, Fitz was kissing her and whispering sweet nothings against her lips. Then the pain was gone, replaced by the strange sensation of being stretched slowly to accommodate his large member. And then, Fitz was inside of her and she was one with the man she loved.

Olivia's breath hitched and she felt like she would cry, but a radiant smile was spreading on her face. He was buried deeply inside of her and it didn't hurt, it didn't frighten her. There was only the overwhelmingly powerful feeling of belonging to someone – body and soul. Fitz began to move slowly and soon she was falling into a rhythm with him. She was incredibly tight around him, and he needed all of his willpower to allow her to set the pace of their lovemaking.

"Livy… God… you are amazing.", he moaned, his lips kissing every part of her that he could reach.

With every thrust of his hips Olivia held on to him more tightly. Then, she wrapped her legs high around his waist, simply allowing her body to take control over her mind. Her sudden move caused him to slip even deeper into her, and that's when he knew that he wouldn't be able to last long. Olivia was moaning now, small gasping breaths mixing with deep, guttural sounds that were arousing him even more. Fitz picked up the pace slightly and Olivia met his advances immediately.

Suddenly, she was panting, crying out his name. Fitz' eyes opened and he stared at her, watching as her orgasm caught her by surprise. She was breathtakingly beautiful at that moment, and he came, spilling himself into her over again over again. When they were both spent, Fitz rolled them onto their sides and slipped out of her with a sigh. Olivia was clinging to him, unable to comprehend how something that had once nearly destroyed her had now been transformed into an incredible act of love, trust, and satisfaction.

"I love you.", he whispered.

He hadn't meant to say those words – not now at least, when he wasn't sure whether Olivia was ready to hear them. However, it had been all Fitz he could think about while he made love to her, and somehow he could no longer hold back the words. There was a glimmer in her tear-filled eyes, and her flushed, sweaty face was glowing with hope and love.

"I love you, too."

And then he laughed, relieved and happy and so completely in love with Olivia that he thought his heart might burst. He kissed her, over and over again, until she was giggling uncontrollably. When they finally calmed down, Olivia caressed his handsome face and smiled at him.

"Thank you, Fitz."

"Thank _you_.", he breathed. "For reminding me why life is worth living."


	16. Chapter 16

**I apologize for posting this so late today. I have not been online in two days, so I'm just now getting around to putting this up. I am very grateful for all of the sweet, interesting, and thought-provoking reviews. I love how some of you mentioned an issue that I am discussing in this chapter. You guys are great!**

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It was a strange feeling, sitting in her tiny office space and listening to Fitz talk on the phone with a client. Before, Olivia had been able to focus on her work, even when he was talking next door, but now his voice had become a distraction. Every time his smooth, deep voice would fill her ears, she'd remember what he'd sounded like when he'd told her that he loved her. But it wasn't just his voice that kept Olivia's mind occupied. She could smell his soap on her skin after having showered with him in the morning, and the area between her legs felt sore every time she moved. It was a constant reminder of the night they had shared, and she smiled coyly before lowering her head, hoping to get back to work.

Olivia had been nervous about coming to the office with him that morning, but Fitz had been right. They entered the building with several other people and nobody seemed to care that the lawyer and his intern arrived at the same time. Now her nerves had settled and she was able to enjoy being close to him all day. She could hear him finishing up his phone call, and she smiled when he huffed after hanging up. Some clients were a lot more difficult than others, but Olivia loved that about the job. Several minutes passed before Fitz suddenly appeared in her door, looking shocked, almost frightened.

"What's wrong?", Olivia asked, quickly rising from her chair.

"Protection.", he mumbled. "We didn't even use protection."

She smiled, relieved.

"I should have remembered.", Fitz continued. "I should have been responsible and it never even crossed my mind. I am so sorry, Liv. Do you want me to take you to a doctor… I don't know… maybe get the morning-after pill?"

"Fitz…", she giggled. "Calm down."

"But…"

"I'm on the pill."

He looked at her with a mixture of stunned surprise and relief.

"After… a few weeks after I was raped I saw a doctor for a check-up and I've been taking the pill ever since. I know until now that might have been kind of useless, but I just… I was always afraid something could happen to me again. I couldn't have handled getting pregnant."

She had walked around the desk, and Fitz pulled her into his arms as soon as she was close enough. He kissed her forehead lovingly, and Olivia could feel the tension leaving his body as he held her.

"I was so worried.", Fitz admitted quietly. "It was careless of me not to think about it last night and I am sorry."

"It's okay. I would have said something if it would have been an issue. I've got it covered and you have nothing to worry about."

"Okay. It's just that… I promised to take care of you and keep you safe and that's part of it."

"We were caught up in the moment.", Olivia smiled. "And it was perfect; I wouldn't change anything about it."

"Good."

He was finally smiling now. Olivia loved that he cared so much, and that things like that truly worried him, because it concerned her and her well-being. They kissed tenderly for just a second, both very much aware of their surroundings but unable to stay apart. When they broke the kiss, Fitz had a dreamy look on his face and she almost laughed at how completely adorable he could be. Olivia pecked his lips again, then shoved him out the door and back into his office.

"Get back to work.", she grinned.

"Yes boss.", Fitz returned playfully. "You want to come stay with me again tonight? I think we should talk about… things."

Olivia simply nodded her head. She knew there were many things they needed to discuss – things she'd been thinking about for days, but especially now that they had confessed to being in love with each other. She wanted to believe that things would fall into place easily, that love would conquer all, but she wasn't naïve enough to believe that real life always worked out that way. They needed to talk about their relationship and their expectations for the future, but Olivia was scared.

That night after work they changed their minds and went to Olivia's apartment instead. They cooked a simple meal together and filled the threatening silence with small talk about their cases and an upcoming trial. Finally, when dinner had been eaten and there was nothing left to say that would help avoid the inevitable conversation, Fitz pulled her by the hand and made them both sit on the couch together. He knew that Olivia was nervous about this conversation; he'd seen it the first time he had brought it up. He felt nervous himself, mainly because he wasn't quite sure what she was thinking. Before he spoke, Fitz kissed her gently.

"I need to know what you are thinking and how you feel about all of this.", he finally began.

"I don't know.", Olivia replied honestly. "I'm happy that we've come this far. I'm happy with _you_, but I don't know what to expect now."

"I want to be with you.", Fitz answered, and she smiled genuinely. "I know there are… issues, but I want us to make this work. This isn't just some fling to me, Liv. I was being completely honest when I told you that I love you."

"I love you, too, Fitz. I want to be with you, too. But how is that going to be possible? I'll be here, with you, for a few more weeks and then we will be hundreds of miles apart."

"So we make that work. I'll travel to come see you. You'll come see me; maybe we'll meet in the middle. Either way, we are going to make it work, Liv."

She nodded, but he could see that she wasn't convinced. She seemed torn.

"The distance isn't the only thing bothering you, is it?", Fitz asked knowingly.

"No.", Olivia admitted sheepishly. "What about our age difference or the fact that you are my boss?"

"I will not be your boss forever. And as for our age difference, it doesn't bother me. I don't care that you are younger than me, because it doesn't change who we are or how we work as a couple. Does it bother you?"

"Not really. But people will talk. They'll talk about the young, dumb intern that was seduced by her charming boss."

"Is that really how you feel about us?", Fitz asked, his voice low and sad.

"Of course not!", Olivia quickly assured him. "But it's what people will say and you know it."

Fitz studied her long and hard. He knew that she had worked tirelessly to make sure people wouldn't think any less of her, because of what she'd been through. On the outside, Olivia was a strong, confident, beautiful woman that worked incredibly hard to be successful. He knew all of that, but he also knew the secret Olivia – the one that cried at night because she had nightmares; the one that always left a light on to feel more secure; the one that blushed when she was told how beautiful she was, because she never quite believed it. Fitz _knew_ her, and he knew that she was terrified of jeopardizing what she'd worked so hard for.

"I don't care what people will say, Liv.", he finally told her. "I always listened to what everyone told me to do. I chose the career I was raised to choose, and I married the woman that was picked for me. For a while, that was okay, but I was never happy. By now I was supposed to be a married father of 2.5 children with the political ambition to make it big. Instead I am a divorced lawyer with no intention of changing my career path. I'm a disappointment to my family, Liv, and I know that, but I've come to terms with it, because for the first time in longer than I can remember I am happy. And I will not let anyone change that for me."

Olivia stared at him, wide-eyed. He sounded so convincing, so desperately honest that she wanted to believe him and give them a chance.

"So unless you don't want me, we need to stop caring about everyone else and do what's right for us."

They were quiet for a long time, simply staring at each other. Fitz was already so passionate about their relationship, even though it had barely just begun. Olivia didn't want him to feel like he was alone in fighting for them. She was absolutely terrified of all the things that could go wrong for them, but at the same time she couldn't wait to see what their future might look like.

"Of course I want you.", she finally whispered, and he gave her knee a squeeze. "We'll do it. We make it work."

Fitz kissed her, long and deep and full of unspoken promises. She let him push her body back on the couch until his was on top of her kissing her lips, her cheeks, her neck, and every spot he could reach. Olivia giggled quietly at first, but soon she couldn't control herself. Her laugh made him grin and he watched as she pushed and pulled at him until he was finally pressed up against her side. The couch was too small for them to be sprawled out on it, but it didn't matter. They smiled at each other.

"Fitz?", Olivia asked after a while. "I don't want things to change at the office. I'm not trying to be secretive about us, but I don't want anyone to think you treat me differently because we are dating."

"Okay.", he agreed, because he understood that it was important to her to be recognized for her work rather than her relationships. "So we're dating, huh?"

"I guess so.", she giggled. "I don't know if I'll be any good at it. I've never done it before."

"You're doing pretty damn good so far.", Fitz murmured into a kiss.


	17. Chapter 17

**This chapter is completely unimportant for the development of the story, and I regret nothing. ;)**

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"Stop it!", Olivia chided, but her giggling took all seriousness out of her request.

Fitz laughed against her neck and bit her there gently.

"I don't want to."

She was pinned against the desk in her small office space, and Fitz was doing his very best to seduce her. Olivia was adamant that they wouldn't be doing anything here where they could get caught by one of the other employees of the law firm. But he was so insistent and oh-so-sexy that she was having a hard time denying him. It had been so easy falling into a routine with him. Some nights they would spend at her apartment, but most of the time they'd go home to his instead. Olivia was beginning to feel more confident around him, and it was an absolutely incredible experience to trust someone so much that she could let her guard down. Her thoughts were interrupted when Fitz hoisted her up on the desk and stepped between her legs that had automatically fallen open for him.

"We can't, Fitz.", she mumbled against his lips. "Not here. Someone could see us."

"It's late. Nobody's here anymore."

"The light is on down the hall.", Olivia tried.

"Uh-huh… but Jonathan Morgan is half deaf so if we're quiet it'll be like we didn't even do anything."

She laughed into their kiss, slapping his chest playfully.

"But if he does hear something, we'll be giving an old bald guy a show and I really don't think that appeals to me.", Olivia explained, trying hard to sound stern. "We should wait till we get home."

"Mh.", he smiled. "Home. I like when you say that."

Technically, his apartment had been his home for a while now, but it had never been more than a place to sleep, shower, and occasionally eat. Now, with Olivia there almost daily, the place was coming to life. Her things were everywhere – small reminders of her presence in his life. A purple toothbrush was sitting next to his blue one and her coconut shampoo was on the shelf in the shower. A few of her outfits had found their way into his closet and her phone sat on the nightstand on her side of the bed when they went to sleep at night. Those things might have seemed insignificant to an outsider, but to Fitz they meant a lot. Olivia had managed to turn a simple apartment into a home, and he dreaded the day when she'd leave and take her belongings with her.

"I like saying it, too."

Her voice was barely a hushed whisper now, because Fitz had started kissing her neck in a way that made her whole body shiver. His hand was creeping up her thigh, and she inwardly scolded herself for choosing to wear a dress that day. He stroked the soft skin that he found under the cream-colored material, and she was lost in him. The 'ding' of the elevator brought them both back to reality. Fitz froze with his face still buried in the crook of Olivia's neck. After a moment, the elevator dinged again and then it was completely quiet. Lifting his gaze to meet hers, Fitz grinned.

"Old Jonathan must have left. Looks like we're all alone now."

She returned his grin despite her best intentions. She wanted to remain strong and tell him to knock it off, but it was impossible when his fingertips were playing along the fabric of her panties and his eyes were sparkling with a mixture of mischief, desire, and love. Her legs opened wider for him, and she pulled her dress up a little further. Fitz smiled at her, knowing that she wanted this just as much as he did. He reached under her dress with both hands, and quickly pulled her panties down her legs. Then he kissed her again, long and deep and with all of the passion he felt for her. Olivia let one hand trail down his back and to his shapely butt. She squeezed him, and felt him smile against her lips.

"You're naughty.", he groaned, and even though she blushed, Olivia felt powerful.

"I'm learning from the best.", she replied cheekily and his smile widened in response.

"I've imagined this.", Fitz suddenly admitted. "I fantasized about you on this desk."

Olivia bit her lip, feeling the heat between her legs increase at his words. If she was being completely honest with herself, she could admit that she had thought about it too. When she'd watch him sit behind his desk, studying files with his reading glasses on, Olivia would imagine how he'd react if she'd just walk up to him and kiss him. When he stood at her desk, leaning against it as he looked down at her, Olivia would wonder what it'd feel like to be sprawled out in front of him. She never allowed her mind to wander too far, but sometimes it was difficult to think of anything else when Fitz looked at her like she was the only woman in the world.

"Show me.", she whispered.

It was a bold move, and Olivia's heart raced as she said the words, but she wanted this. She wanted him to have a chance to fulfill his fantasies, when he was always making sure hers were taken care of. Olivia knew that her own imaginations were rather boring compared to most sexual fantasies, but to her they meant the world. She'd dreamt of feeling so loved that she wouldn't be afraid to give herself to a man; she'd imagined feeling so free and confident that she could touch, and moan, and call out her lovers name without inhibitions. And Fitz was making all of those dreams come true. Now it was his turn. His eyes were dark and so full of lust that Olivia knew she'd made the right decision.

Fitz pulled her off the desk until she was standing in front of him, their bodies touching. He kissed her lips briefly, and then he was spinning her around, pressing his chest against her back. Olivia understood; she knew what he'd fantasized about. A chill ran down her spine and goose bumps formed on her skin. He was hiking her dress up her legs until she could feel the cool air hit her sensitive skin, and her breathing picked up. Suddenly the lower half of her body was completely exposed, and she shivered. Fitz used one hand to hold up her dress while the other hand slipped between her legs. Finally he was touching her, and Olivia's head fell back against his shoulder.

"You're so wet.", he mumbled against the well-kissed skin of her neck, and she thought she could have cum from just the sound of his voice.

His fingers were so long and talented, and Olivia found herself moving her hips wantonly. Fitz pleasured her with his hand for a while, taking her to the edge several times, but never allowing her to fall over. She was so responsive, so open to try new things with him, and although it was Olivia who was discovering her sexuality, he sometimes felt like he was too. Olivia made him feel powerful and powerless all at the same time, and she had the ability to make his head spin with her stunning body and those sexy little moans she'd release for his ears only.

"Bent over, sweet baby.", he breathed against her ear.

Olivia complied immediately, bending her body until she was bracing her hands against the hard surface of her desk. She'd never felt so completely naughty in her life. When Fitz pushed himself closer to her once again, Olivia could feel that he had undone his pants and lowered his underwear. There was something so thrilling about not being able to see him, but knowing that he was right there, ready to devour her. He leaned down to nuzzle her neck and kiss the spot below her ear.

"Are you comfortable with this?"

Even when he was completely aroused and turned on, he always seemed to remember to put her wellbeing first. It was the reason she trusted him and was able to experience these new things with him.

"Yes.", Olivia replied breathlessly.

"Hold on tight.", he growled, before pushing himself into her.

The sensation was still as overwhelming as the first time. His considerable size still stretched her deliciously, but by now Olivia was so familiar with the way he thrust himself into her body that she easily met his every push with eager movements. They'd never done it quite like this, and although the sensations were familiar, it still felt thrillingly different. He was deeper and hit the right spot every time he filled her. Soon, Olivia was panting, clawing at the desk to find some sort of support. Her sweaty palms were slipping and she dropped herself onto her elbows instead, bending her body even further in the process.

"Good God…", Fitz moaned, tightening his grip on her hips. "So good."

Olivia wanted to agree but her ability to speak had long since left her. Her legs and arms were shaking with the effort to hold herself upright, but she still managed to move her hips in sync with her lover's. She knew he was close now, because she had learned that he always pushed just a little faster and deeper when he was beginning to lose control. She was close herself, teetering on the edge of release. Suddenly, there was a large hand between her legs, several fingers stroking her clit so quickly that she forgot how to breathe.

He felt the moment that her body gave in to the sensations, tight muscles contracting around his member over and over again, until he couldn't hold back anymore. When Olivia cried out his name, he came, spilling himself into her over and over again, until they were both completely spent. Olivia dropped her exhausted body on the desk, pressing her heated skin to the cool surface. Fitz was right behind her, and she didn't mind his weight on top of her – she cherished it. When his breathing was beginning to return to normal, Fitz straightened up and pulled her along until they were both standing. He was hugging her from behind, trailing kisses everywhere he could reach.

"Are you trying to kill me?", he mumbled into her ear.

Olivia smirked and turned around to face him. The sight of him made her giggle. He was still wearing his shirt but his pants were down around his ankles. His hair was messy and his face was sweaty, but his eyes were bright. She smoothed his curls back and kissed his lips lightly.

"I can't believe we just did this. I can't believe you convinced me."

"Oh please.", Fitz grinned cheekily. "Like you needed to be convinced in the first place."

She didn't reply because she knew he was right.

"We need to clean up and get home.", Olivia said when he tried to kiss her again.

"Yeah, let's go home.", Fitz replied and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Olivia stepped away from him to fix herself.

"By the time we make it back to your apartment you might be able to go again, old man."


	18. Chapter 18

**This chapter has given me headaches, and I almost didn't post it, but then I decided that I wrote it for a reason and that it belongs in this story. Let me know what you think. As always, thank you for the wonderful, encouraging reviews. **

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He had been able to go again. And again. And again. By the time the couple arrived at the office the next morning, Olivia was sure that she must have been walking funny. She was exhausted and deliciously sore, and she blushed every time she remembered the night before. Fitz' love had made it possible for her to give herself to him in ways she'd never even dared to imagine, and now that her initial fears were calmed, she couldn't get enough of him. He was gently squeezing her butt as they stood in an elevator full of people, and Olivia let him because she knew people would have looked at them if she'd said something. This man – _her_ man – had become insatiable, and she loved it.

The day was as busy as any other day, but someone it still dragged on. Olivia usually didn't need more than one cup of coffee to get her through the day, but their late night and early morning activities had left her tired. She fought her way through countless of emails and files, while Fitz prepared for an upcoming trial that she would be joining him for. Olivia was excited, because she loved the courtroom atmosphere. It was nearly six when Fitz poked his head into her office. He looked adorably tired, too, and she couldn't wait to go home and simply relax with him.

"I still have a good two hours ahead of me.", he sighed. "Do you want to go home and just wait there for me?"

Olivia shook her head.

"I'll get us something to eat, and we can have dinner here while I help you finish up."

"I like your plan better.", he smiled, thankful.

Olivia left the still busy office shortly after, making her way down the street to the Italian restaurant that Fitz liked. She ordered their meals to-go and quickly grabbed two small coffees from the coffee shop across the street as she waited for their dinner to be prepared. She returned to Meyer & Associates twenty minutes later with her hands full of things to get them through the evening hours at the office. Olivia took the elevator and then walked down the hallway to Fitz' office. The door was halfway open and she caught a glimpse of Fitz and a second person standing in the middle of the room. She took another step closer, but didn't enter the office.

Fitz was standing there with a tall, beautiful woman that looked to be in her early or mid-thirties. She was dressed impeccably and her hair was in a fancy up-do. They were talking, but their voices were so hushed that Olivia couldn't make out a word they were saying. Still, she felt like she was imposing. Suddenly, Fitz took a step closer to the woman, and before Olivia had a chance to gather her thoughts, he was pulling her into a hug. Olivia's breath caught in her throat as she watched the stranger stiffen for a moment before falling willingly into the embrace. She wrapped her arms around Fitz, and the two simply stood there for a long, quiet moment. Then Fitz' hand began to stroke her back, as if he was trying to soothe her.

Maybe it was impulsive, most definitely unprofessional, but Olivia set the food and the coffees on the floor next to the office door and turned on her heels. She'd seen enough. She left the office building quickly, because she knew she would have a difficult time holding her threatening tears at bay. There hadn't been a need for her to walk home to her apartment for weeks now, and the streets suddenly seemed as unfamiliar as they had the very first day. Olivia rushed home and quickly locked herself into her apartment. She turned all of the lights on and threw her purse into a corner angrily. Finally, the tears started to fall.

What a fool she had been to fall in love with a man like Fitz. She should have known better. He was a successful, handsome bachelor, and if Olivia had used her brain rather than her heart she'd have recognized that it was nearly impossible for him not to have a woman in his life. She loathed the beautiful woman she had seen in his office, because she had unknowingly forced Olivia to face reality. She wanted to scream, but instead only silent tears ran down her cheeks.

Thirty minutes later Olivia had just changed into her pajamas when she heard a knock on the door. She knew it was Fitz, but she didn't want to see him.

"Olivia?", his muffled voice asked. "Liv, I know you're in there. Please let me in."

He sounded almost desperate, and despite her better judgment Olivia opened the door.

"Oh, Liv.", Fitz sighed as he stepped into her apartment.

He reached out to her immediately, but Olivia moved out of his way, avoiding his touch. In that moment, Fitz couldn't have imagined anything more painful than losing the privilege to touch her when he had only just earned it not long ago.

"Why did you leave?"

"You know why.", Olivia spat angrily.

It was true; he did know. It was the reason he had sought her out – so he could explain himself to her.

"It's not what you think."

"Oh please.", she seethed, spinning around to face him. "Don't try to feed me any more lies. I know what I saw."

"What did you see?", Fitz asked, and she felt the irrational urge to slap him.

"I saw you in the arms of a woman, Fitz. You looked awfully cozy, I didn't want to interrupt."

He had never seen Olivia so furious. She was usually so soft-spoken, and he hated that he had made her this angry. There was a fire in her eyes that he'd never seen before.

"That woman…", he began.

"Stop!", Olivia interrupted him immediately. "I don't want to hear about her. Just leave."

"Olivia.", Fitz tried again. "That woman was Mellie."

"Your wife?", she asked, shocked.

"My _ex_-wife, yes.", Fitz corrected her. "Can we sit down so I can explain this to you? Please?"

Olivia nodded her head, but when they sat down on the couch, she sat as far from him as possible. He hated this. He hated the distance that she was putting between them and how she seemed to crumble in front of him. The angry Olivia from earlier was gone, replaced by its sad twin.

"Mellie is in town for business. I didn't know she was coming, or I would have warned you. She showed up at the office, and I couldn't just send her away."

"Why?", Olivia mumbled, any he wasn't sure if she was asking why Mellie had stopped by, or why he couldn't have just sent her away.

"She went to see Caitlin today."

And that was explanation enough. Suddenly, Olivia felt terrible, and she wanted to cry again – probably more so than before. She had allowed the deep feelings she had for Fitz to get in the way of rational judgment. Never before had she had that problem, and she hated that she didn't have better control over her feelings. She would have liked to scoot closer to him now, but she was so embarrassed that she couldn't bring herself to do it. Fitz continued, oblivious to Olivia's inner struggle.

"She hadn't been there since the funeral, but today she felt the need to go, and she went by herself. I guess… I guess she just needed someone that understood. And I am the only one that does.", he explained. "She doesn't have anyone to share her grief with, just like I didn't have anyone until you came along. And that's mostly her fault, because Mellie… she shuts people out and she pretends that everything is under control at all times. But sometimes, she crumbles, too, and today she needed someone that would understand."

Olivia couldn't even look him in the eyes as he spoke. She felt like a fool now.

"What you saw today, Liv, wasn't an act of tenderness or love. It was simply two people supporting each other. I don't love Mellie – never really have and never will – and I probably won't even see her again after today, but Caitlin will always connect us in a way nothing else ever could."

"I'm sorry.", Olivia squeaked, her eyes still lowered.

Fitz looked at her – truly looked at her small frame sitting across from him. She looked defeated and ashamed, and he didn't want her to feel that way. He scooted closer and pulled her into a tight, warm embrace.

"It's okay.", he mumbled. "It's okay, Liv."

"I just saw you there with her… and then you were hugging and I felt so… so betrayed and upset and it never even crossed my mind to ask you who she was.", she rambled on. "I just wanted to get out so I did, and now I feel like such an ass. I'm so sorry."

"Liv, it's fine. I probably would have drawn the same conclusion, but I need you to promise me something."

"Anything.", Olivia answered quickly, and she meant it.

"Don't run away when there's something wrong, okay? Talk to me. There is no doubt in my mind that we can overcome whatever might get thrown into our way, but don't shut me out, okay?"

"I promise.", she answered in a small voice. "I overreacted, and I am truly sorry. I just… knew I wouldn't be able to compete with her and that scared me."

"You don't have to compete – with anyone or for anything. I chose you, not because I had to or because there was no other choice. I chose you because I love you and I don't want anyone else. I know you're insecure about some aspects of this relationship – sometimes I am too – but don't ever think you aren't enough."

"I love you.", Olivia breathed, hugging him again. "Thank you for coming here and not letting me shut you out."

"I love you, too.", Fitz smiled and kissed her.

They kissed longingly for the longest time, like they had been separated for months rather than an hour. Olivia needed the closeness, the feeling of still being loved – no matter what.

"You know what?", Fitz finally asked.

"Mh?"

"I think we just had our first fight."

She giggled into the crook of his neck, embarrassed that she had caused their first argument.

"How'd we do?"

"It was pretty good.", he grinned. "You're fierce and kind of scary."


	19. Chapter 19

**I can't believe I'm saying this, but there is only one regular chapter and an epilogue left after this update. I've read many reviews of people telling me they hope this story goes on for a long time, but I've always known where I was going with the story line, and when it would end. However, I couldn't imagine a greater compliment, so thank you! Leave me a review and let me know what you think!**

* * *

She was curled up against Fitz in his bed. Her large suitcase sat in the corner of the room, already packed. Olivia had cleaned her temporary apartment earlier that day, so she could spend her last night in Washington D.C. in Fitz' home. It was barely getting dark, but the couple had already retreated to the bedroom as soon as dinner had been finished. It was quiet, almost eerily so, and the only sound in the room was that of the kisses they shared every now and then.

Olivia was scared of what the future would bring, but for the most part, she was simply sad. They'd always known that the day when she would have to leave D.C. to go back to school would come sooner rather than later, but now that it was actually time, her heart ached. She didn't want to leave Fitz' side, and she didn't want to leave this life that she had gotten used to so quickly. They had promised each other that they would make this work, but that didn't stop her from worrying. He kissed her temple then, and for just a moment Olivia's worries disappeared, but the lingering sadness remained.

"I love you.", he whispered.

She would never get tired of hearing it, and she hoped he'd never stop saying it.

"I love you, too.", she returned in a hushed voice, like it was a secret they shared only between each other.

Slowly, they stripped each other of their clothes until they were completely naked under the thin sheet. Fitz caressed every inch of her skin that he could reach, all the while kissing those lips that had fascinated him the moment he'd met Olivia. Her leg had found its way across his hip, assuring that they were as close as humanly possible. With ease, Fitz slipped himself into her tight warmth, relishing in her delighted gasp. Every time he did this, it took his breath away. Olivia was his perfect fit in many ways, and this was no exception. She tilted her hips in just the right angle, allowing him to push so deeply into her that he didn't know where he ended and she began.

Fitz kissed a sweet trail along her jaw and down her neck, nuzzling the sensitive spots that always made her shiver. He felt the irrational urge to mark her – to make sure that even when she'd be far away from him, people would know that she was taken. Instead, he kissed her over and over again, hoping his touches would be ever-present in her mind even without the physical markings to show for it. Olivia's small fingers had found their way into his curls, and he loved how she would tuck at them gently with every thrust of his hips. They stayed in their intimate embrace for a long time, enjoying the gentle push and pull of their lovemaking.

After a while, Fitz pushed Olivia onto her back, hovering above her much smaller frame. No matter how many times they had sex, or how many different ways he made love to her, this was still his favorite one. He knew how much trust she was putting into him when he loomed above her like that, when he had all of the power over their intimate encounter. Fitz loved her just a little bit more every time he reminded himself that this incredible woman had chosen him. He wondered whether Olivia knew that she was actually the one that held all of the power, because the look in her eyes alone had the ability to make or break him.

"I don't want to leave you.", Olivia said suddenly, her voice nothing but a breathless whisper against the sweaty skin of his neck.

"You're not.", Fitz reminded her, although he felt just as sad as she did. "Not really; just for a little bit. We'll be together again before you know it."

"When?", she asked, and it sounded more like a desperate plea than a simple question.

"Soon, Livy. I promise you it will be soon. This will work – we will make this work."

They both knew that Fitz was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince her. He knew that Olivia was young and inexperienced when it came to love and relationships, so it was only natural for her to be afraid that things wouldn't work out between them; that the bubble they had been living in for the past few weeks would burst as soon as she would leave D.C. But it was surprising and difficult for him to understand that he was feeling just as insecure and scared. At the age of 36, Fitz was experiencing true, all-consuming love for the first time and the impending separation weighed heavily on his heart, too

"I believe you.", she whispered, and it was enough to soothe them both for the moment.

Fitz kissed the sweet smile on her swollen lips and began moving his hips again. Olivia met his thrusts immediately. She wanted to make this good for him too. She wanted him to feel the utter love and satisfaction she felt every time they made love. Most of all, she wanted him to know that there would never be another man that made her heart feel so full that it almost hurt. Torturously slowly, Olivia wrapped her legs high around his waist, changing the angle of her hips and taking him so deeply that his head dropped to her shoulder immediately.

"God… sweet baby… Livy…"

She rocked her hips faster, urging him to do the same.

"Make me cum, Fitz."

Her words were his undoing. Fitz pushed himself up until he was on his knees. She couldn't even begin to describe the look in his eyes, but it was enough to make her whole body shiver in anticipation. He grabbed her shaky legs and pulled them up until they were flat against his chest, then he bent down just far enough to be able to rest his hands on either side of her head. The first powerful thrust in their new position made Olivia squeal in surprise. She clawed at his back, scratching her nails along the tense muscles of his shoulders. Her orgasm built slowly, but suddenly she exploded around him so strongly that Fitz could feel every wave of her climax around his pulsating length. Olivia was moaning and gasping, her mumbled words a constant mixture of his name and 'don't stop'.

"Oh God…", she groaned when her orgasm subsided.

Fitz took this as a sign that it was okay to go faster and deeper yet, and he began thrusting into her willing body with gentle force. He wanted to take her with him one more time, so he reached down between their joined bodies and stroked her sweet spot. Olivia didn't know how much more she could take, yet she never wanted to stop being one with Fitz. Finally, his thrusts became uneven, and she knew he was close, too.

"Let go, baby.", Olivia breathed into his ear, and it was enough for him to lose control.

When she opened her eyes again, Fitz was still draped across her own. His arm and leg were holding her down and his head was a welcome weight on her heaving chest. Olivia could feel the evidence of his passion running down her thighs, but she didn't care. He mumbled something, but his head was still buried between her breasts and she couldn't understand him. She giggled and ran a hand through his sweaty hair lovingly.

"I can't hear a word you're saying.", Olivia smiled when she was finally able to speak again.

"Phone sex.", he groaned. "We're going to need a lot of phone sex to hold me over."

She smiled, but it was a sad smile. He wasn't being serious, at least not completely, and she knew that, but his words reminded her again that she'd be sleeping alone again in a mere 24 hours. The thought alone was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

"Don't do that.", Fitz whispered, before he even lifted his head to look at her.

It would always be a mystery to her, how he could read her so well. Fitz finally rolled on his side and scooted up so they were facing each other. Just as he had suspected, Olivia's eyes were full of unshed tears. He hated that this time, he couldn't take any of her pain away.

"Don't cry, Liv."

It was easier said than done, but Olivia took a deep, calming breath, willing herself to be strong for both of them. She gave him a watery smile and kissed his lips gently to assure him that she was indeed okay.

"No more crying, I promise.", she said, but they both knew they wouldn't be able to keep that promise once she'd actually have to leave him.

"When you go tomorrow, I want you to leave me something that'll always make me feel like you are here, okay?", Fitz asked.

He knew that Olivia had already packed one of his t-shirts in her suitcase, and he pictured her sleeping in it at night when he wouldn't be able to hold her. It wasn't much, but those little things would get them through the longs months of separation.

"Okay.", she smiled sheepishly, already trying to figure out what she could leave him.

They were quiet for a long time, both exhausted but not quite tired enough to sleep. Olivia was afraid that once she'd close her eyes, the night would fly by and it'd be time for her to go.

"I love you, Liv.", he said suddenly. "I love you so much, and I need you to always remember that – no matter what."

"I know.", she replied. "And I will, Fitz, always. I love you, too."

Fitz pulled her as close as he possibly could and told her goodnight. But even hours later, when the night had already turned into early morning, Olivia hadn't closed her eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

**Here it is: the last regular chapter of this story. I will be posting an epilogue within the next few days. A lot of people asked whether I would continue this story or write a sequel. Well, there will be a sequel. My summer has been and will continue to be very busy, so I am not sure when I will start posting, but it will definitely happen. Thank you all SO much for your support, it means the world to me. x**

* * *

They had left early, giving themselves enough time to reach the train station and prepare for the inevitable goodbye. But now that Olivia was walking next to him, waiting for the train that would take her back to her regular life and away from him, twenty minutes didn't seem nearly enough. She didn't want to be the stereotypical girl that would cry in the arms of a man as he bid her goodbye, but now she could hardly contain her tears. Fitz had been quiet all morning, and even their lovemaking when the sun had begun to rise had been almost completely soundless.

He was pulling her suitcase with one hand and holding hers firmly with the other one. Olivia's ticket was already in her purse, so they walked straight to where her train would depart not long from now. When they arrived, they simply stood next to each other, both staring at another train that was currently pulling out. Fitz watched how Olivia's gaze followed the train until it was out of sight. A lone tear ran down her cheek, and he sighed sadly.

"Come here."

She was pulled into his arms, and she dropped her purse to the ground next to her feet so she could wrap her arms around his body. He seemed especially tall now that she was wearing comfortable, flat shoes to travel in, and his chin came to rest on top of her head immediately. Fitz inhaled deeply, taking her in one more time.

"Remember what I told you that night when you asked me whether anyone would ever want to look at you again?"

Olivia nodded her head against his broad chest, but waited for him to continue anyway.

"The next time you curl your hair, I want you to remember how much I like that look on you, and how much I love it when you twist it around your fingers. When you pull it up in class because you can't be bothered tucking it behind your ear all the time, I want you to think of me and how I can't stop myself from kissing your neck every time it's exposed. And when you get in bed after studying all night, I want you to call me so you don't feel lonely – so _I_ don't feel lonely. Okay?"

"Okay.", she mumbled, unable to choke out more than that because her throat was tight with emotion.

"This is difficult and unfair and far from ideal, but it's nothing we can't deal with, Liv.", Fitz reassured her. "We've both dealt with worse – we've overcome so much – this is going to be just one more step we need to take before we can start our life together."

She loved the sound of that so much – the idea of starting a life with Fitz. In a way, they had done that already with committing themselves to each other, but Olivia knew it wouldn't be truly possible until they'd be able to share more than just a few blissful weeks together followed by a long distance relationship.

"I know you're right.", she sighed. "I know we'll be okay. It's just hard right now. I'm just… sad."

"I am, too, Liv.", Fitz admitted. "More than I want to admit to myself. And it's okay to be sad right now and to hate saying goodbye, but at the end of all of this, we will be together and we will be happy."

Olivia lifted her head from his chest and smiled at him.

"I love you."

"I love you, too. So much more than you'll ever know."

He kissed her then, the kind of kiss that made her heart burst and her knees go weak. Fitz' tongue found its way into her mouth and she didn't care that hundreds of people could be watching them right now. To her, he was the only person in the world that mattered in this moment. Then, a loud voice announced an incoming train through the speaker, and Olivia broke their kiss slowly.

"That's me.", she whispered, and he could already see new tears threatening to fall from her beautiful eyes.

"It is.". Fitz agreed regretfully.

Suddenly, the train was pulling in next to them, much faster than either one of them would have hoped. Olivia bent down and picked up her purse. The doors opened and dozens of people stepped off the train. She wished she could be one of those people right now, arriving in Fitz' arms instead of leaving them. Fitz grabbed her suitcase and rolled it closer to a door. When the last person had stepped of the train, he lifted Olivia's luggage and pushed into the designated area. Then he stepped off again, wrapping her into a tight embrace.

"Promise me that I will see you soon, Livy."

It was the first time she had seen him be so truly vulnerable about their relationship and about her leaving.

"I promise.", she whispered. "I promise you, Fitz."

He kissed her again, trying to convey just how much he loved her.

"Go.", he said. "Get on your train, Liv."

Olivia turned around and quickly stepped into the train, afraid that if she'd turn to look at him, she wouldn't be able to leave. She found a seat by the window and pressed her hands against the cold glass, hoping to catch another glimpse of him before the train would start moving. Fitz stood there, looking tall and handsome and so incredibly alone that it was nearly enough to make her get off the train and never look back. But Olivia knew that it wasn't an option, at least not right now. Before she knew it the train began to move. Her eyes found Fitz' and they stared at each other for as long as possible. Within seconds he was out of sight.

Olivia slumped back into her seat and wiped the tears from her wet cheeks. She missed him already and she couldn't imagine how she'd be able to go months without seeing him. Reaching into her purse she pulled out a book she had brought for the trip, knowing that she needed to distract herself or she would cry for hours. A small bookmark was sticking out of the middle of the novel, and Olivia opened the page. A picture fell out and into her lap. She smiled.

She didn't know when he'd done it, but Fitz had somehow snuck the photograph into her book. It was the only picture that existed of the two of them. Fitz had taken it with his cellphone a couple of weeks ago when they'd enjoyed a picnic courtesy of the gorgeous D.C. summer weather. It wasn't a great picture, because their faces were too close to the camera and it was slightly blurry, but to Olivia it couldn't have been more perfect. Her smile was wide and her eyes were shining with happiness, and she almost didn't recognize the look of utter joy on her face. She couldn't remember ever looking this content and truly happy. But what made the picture special to her was the look on Fitz' face. He was smiling beautifully – that slightly crooked smile that she adored so much. His eyes were fixed on her, and Olivia couldn't believe how much the look on his face revealed about his feelings for her. She cherished the love she could see in his eyes, even on a picture.

Olivia flipped the photograph and found his handwriting on the back. His words brought tears back to her finally dry eyes.

_Soon we will start our forever together._

_I love you._

_Fitz_

Tracing the words with her fingertip, she smiled wistfully. 'Soon' couldn't come fast enough.

Already miles away from the love of his life, Fitz had taken a detour on his way to his now empty apartment. As he walked down the path to Caitlin's grave, he wondered if he would one day be able to bring Olivia and a child of theirs to introduce to his firstborn who he had lost so tragically. Fitz placed a small bouquet of colorful flowers on his daughter's grave and smiled. His heart would never not ache when he'd come here, but he was able to deal with that now. For nearly thirty minutes, Fitz told his baby girl all about Olivia. He told her how beautiful and amazing she was, and how much he wished the two could have met. He told her how he hoped to bring her back here soon, because things were always a little less painful with Olivia by his side. And he told her how he hoped that she would have loved Olivia just as much as he did now, if she would have had the chance to get to know her.

Finally, Fitz returned home. Just like he had expected, the apartment was empty and quiet. He walked into the bedroom and debated crawling back into the unmade bed that might have still smelled of his Livy. But he was sweaty and moody, and he needed to clear his head so he opted for a long shower instead.

With the refreshing water falling down on him, Fitz thought back to just a few hours ago, when Olivia had stood in the shower with him. He'd washed her hair for her, and she had washed his back in return. There was always such intimacy in every interaction they shared, and he knew that he would miss that most while they'd be apart. Turning, he reached out to grab a bar of soap. Instead, his eyes fell on a tall, white bottle of shampoo. He smiled.

Olivia had left him her coconut shampoo. He knew that she hadn't left in accidentally, but that it was her way of honoring the promise she had made to leave him something of hers. Fitz took the bottle into his hand and opened it. The faint smell of coconut filled the small shower, and just like that his heart felt a little bit lighter. Olivia knew how much he loved to bury his nose in her hair, and he couldn't believe that out of all the things she could have left behind, this had been her choice. It was perfect. _She_ was perfect. Fitz took another deep breath, before placing the shampoo back on the small shelf. He laughed quietly.

Soon they'd begin their forever together.

He was sure of that.


	21. Chapter 21 - Epilogue

**This is the final part of this story. I loved writing this one, and it is near and dear to my heart, so it meant the world to me to have such great support. Thank you so much for all of your lovely reviews. I can't wait to write and post the sequel. Again, thank you!**

* * *

The crowd was even bigger than he had expected, and for a moment Fitz felt overwhelmed and lost. His train from D.C. had arrived in New York City's Penn Station less than five minutes ago, and he was now searching the sea of people for a familiar face. It was the day before Christmas Eve and the all-busy train station was buzzing with activity. Travelers were arriving and departing everywhere and it was difficult for him to figure out where he needed to go. Fitz had been to New York City before, but it had been years and he hadn't taken the train back then. His eyes roamed over the crowd again and that's when he saw her.

Standing calmly among hundreds of people was Olivia. She was dressed casually in jeans and boots and a cream-colored winter coat. A pale pink scarf was wrapped around her neck, and her hair was framing her face in those beautiful, wavy curls that he loved so much. Her eyes were still scanning the crowd of arriving passengers, and she hadn't spotted him yet. A family of four crossed in front of him, and for a second Fitz lost sight of Olivia in the crowd. When he saw her again, she was looking straight at him.

He saw the moment that she finally found him, for her entire face seemed to light up. Immediately, Olivia began walking towards him, and by the time they reached each other, she was nearly running. She threw her arms around his neck, and Fitz picked her up, pulling her body as close to him as possible.

"You're here.", she breathed.

"I am.", Fitz replied, and he felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulder.

He was here, with her. Finally.

After four long months of separation, he was finally able to hold Olivia in his arms again. She loosened their tight embrace slightly and looked down into his eyes. Her smile was radiant.

"You're really here."

Fitz had to laugh at the almost childlike wonder in her eyes, like she couldn't believe that he was actually holding her. If he was being honest, he couldn't quite believe it either. He closed the small gap between them and kissed her, trying to convey all of his love for her with the first kiss in so long. They kissed passionately for a moment, the crowd around them completely forgotten. When Fitz broke the kiss, he put her down and wrapped his arms around her.

"Hi."

"Hi.", Olivia giggled, and the sound made his heart swell with love.

She reached up and traced his handsome features with the tips of her fingers. Suddenly, she couldn't wait to get him alone – to rediscover him. Fitz took her hand in his and pulled his small suitcase with the other one. When Olivia had suggested that they could spend her Christmas break together, he had immediately agreed. She had told him that she would come to D.C., but Fitz had declined her offer. He wanted to see where she grew up, and he wanted to meet her parents, so they had agreed to meet up in New York City instead. Although Olivia's family had offered that they could both stay with them over the holidays, the couple had opted to book a hotel room instead. She was excited for him to be introduced to her family officially, but she didn't want to share him every day for the ten days they'd have together.

Together, they walked outside into the crisp winter air. The sun was shining and the city looked beautiful with its countless lights and Christmas decorations. Olivia stopped a taxi, and Fitz simply watched her, admiring how comfortable she looked in the busy, crazy world that was New York City. The ride was short, barely ten minutes, but they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. Fitz was stroking her thigh, and with every new touch his fingers inched a little bit higher. Olivia had been imagining this day for months now, and now that they were so close to finally being alone for the first time since her internship in D.C. had brought them together, her heart was racing.

They had talked every day. Sometimes, when they were both busy with cases and school, they'd only sent a few quick text messages back and forward. Other times, they would talk for hours on the phone. On days when Olivia was forced to stay at the library until after dark, Fitz would call her and talk to her until she was safely locked into her dorm. He knew it wasn't the same as actually walking her home, but it was as close as they could get, and it made her feel safer nonetheless. Fitz had taken to visiting Caitlin's grave every other Sunday, and on his hour-long ride home Olivia would call him to cheer him up or simply listen to him talk about his daughter. They had an unspoken agreement that no distance would ever stop them from supporting each other.

"This is it.", Olivia said when the cab pulled over.

They checked in and took the elevator up to their room. The view was stunning, and the couple took a moment to enjoy the sight of Central Park, covered in a light dusting of fresh snow. When Fitz had booked their hotel room, Olivia had told him that the place he had chosen was too expensive and fancy, but he had insisted. He wanted to spoil her, especially because it was Christmas. Now that they had arrived, Olivia was stunned by how truly gorgeous the place was.

"It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is.", he smiled, and she knew he wasn't talking about the room or the view.

They undressed each other unhurriedly, and when they were finally able to touch bare skin against bare skin, the long, lonely months were forgotten. Fitz made love to her so slowly and gently that it reminded Olivia of their first time together, and it was nearly overwhelming. She told him, over and over again, how much she loved him and how much she had missed him.

Afterwards, when they were both blissfully satisfied and tired, they cuddled in bed for hours. Fitz told her about his latest case, and Olivia told him about school and her parents. Although they had talked on the phone before, Fitz was slightly nervous to be meeting them. She loved that about him – that it mattered enough to make him nervous. They opted for room service later that night, because it meant that they could stay in their robes, and eat in bed, and make love again whenever they felt like it.

It was after midnight and Olivia was already half asleep when Fitz slipped out of bed and went to retrieve a small, rectangular box from his suitcase. He returned to join her under the blankets and pushed the small gift towards her.

"It's Christmas Eve.", he smiled. "Open it."

"I left your gift at my parents' house.", Olivia replied worriedly. "I don't have anything to give you."

"I don't care. There's another gift for you on Christmas. This is just… something I wanted you to have right now."

Olivia wanted to complain about the fact that he had gotten her more than one gift when he was already paying for an overpriced hotel room for the two of them, but Fitz' eyes were shining with anticipation like he had been waiting a long time to give this to her. So she chose not to say anything and simply enjoy the way he was treating her.

She pulled the shiny, blue ribbon off and then worked on undoing the tape that was holding the white wrapping paper together. A grey box was revealed, and Olivia opened it slowly. She gasped and looked up at Fitz. He was looking at her nervously.

"Do you like it?"

"It's too much, but I love it.", Olivia admitted. "Fitz, you're spoiling me."

"You should be spoiled."

The box held a delicate diamond bracelet that sparkled beautifully even in the relatively dark room. It was the kind of jewelry every girl dreamt of, and Olivia was no exception, but she could have never afforded anything like this. She traced a finger along the tiny, expensive stones in awe. Then she scooted closer to him and kissed him sweetly.

"Thank you. It's absolutely perfect."

Fitz was thrilled. He had purchased the bracelet the week after Olivia had left D.C. in the summer, and he'd been holding on to it ever since, anticipating her reaction when he would finally be able to give it to her. He had contemplated sending it to her to surprise her, but he'd wanted to see the look on Olivia's face when she opened it, so he had kept it for months.

"Take it out.", he urged her.

Olivia pulled the bracelet out of its box carefully, almost afraid that she would break it. Once again, he had managed to make her speechless and to completely take her breath away. It was exhilarating to love a man that wanted to make her happy with everything he did.

"I love it.", she sighed happily.

"Flip it over and look at the back of it.", Fitz said, and she thought he sounded slightly nervous.

She turned the bracelet carefully in her hand and stared at the letters engraved on the back of it.

It wasn't a wordy confession of his love, and it wasn't a clichéd statement that could be found on so many pieces of jewelry. It was simple and personal and everything she could have ever asked for. The tiny engraving simply read:

_Forever_.

**~ The End ~**


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